Disclaimer: This post is also going to be all over the place, because i have a migraine. Also, the title was chosen because i thought i need to read “Perks of being a wallflower” and then watch the movie.
I literally thought myself into a migraine today. I woke up and everything was fine and dandy, then something happened that threw me off. I demanded an explanation, accusatorily, and when i didn’t get one, i started filling the blanks with my own stories and imagining one confrontation after another, until i got a splitting headache and had to take my migraine medication. That’s when i told myself “whoa girl, calm down. You’re only hurting yourself when you’re angry” , and i told myself the sentence i learned from the book I’m almost done with called Crucial Confrontations:
Why would a reasonable rational person do that?
And it helped me see the other person as a person rather than a villian.
I calmed down, and only then was i offered the explanation, which made perfect sense.
So now I’m calm, only i still have a migraine.
So my migraine was caused by negative overthinking. Speaking of overthinking, let’s talk pros and cons:
1. I have a lot of ideas and thoughts to share (not all my thoughts are worth sharing, most are pointless imaginary conversations and confrontations, but on the occasion i get a good idea or two)
2. I do a lot of self reflection (which is good for self improvement)
1. I overanalyze everything (i hang onto every word and every gesture and come up with my own conclusions)
2. I can’t let things go (letting something go requires to stop thinking about, but i can brew over an event for weeks or even months)
3. I get migraines everyday (i literally think myself into a headache, and it only goes away when i release the thoughts into the wild, in this case onto my blog or when i vent to a friend)
4. I get nightmares (even when i am sleeping, my mind doesn’t shut off. I get the weirdest dreams of alternate realities. I forget them 10 minutes after i wake up, but maybe i should write them into a fantasy novel).
5. I get insomnia (the more blogs i write, the less insomnia i get, but when i have thoughts in my head that i don’t let out, i just lay there trapped in my head for up to 2 hours)
That’s about it.
So perks of being an overthinker is that you get more blogs from me, and hopefully more books. And the feedback I’ve been getting from my blogs is amazing. The purpose of my blogs is to motivate and inspire and to make people feel less alone. When i read books or blog posts and find myself in the author’s words, when the author expresses the feelings and thoughts that were tangled inside me and helps me understand myself and world better, i feel understood and not so alone. That is why i write.
An instagram friend of mine sent me a gentle reminder and encouragement yesterday in response to a rant i wrote on instagram about not getting the support i wanted and felt i deserved from my instagram followers, and she was right 💯 I need to remember why I’m doing this, and i need to do it for me. Not for likes. Not for follows. But to share the thoughts in my head and to make people feel less alone.
I let my overthinking spiral my thoughts out of control into feelings of anger and helplessness and negativity. I felt i deserved more likes and followers, and i would waste hours on instagram instead of cleaning my house or spending time with my son. So thank you Kayla for reminding me and motivating me. You are truly a gem 💎