This is all too much for me.

Yes, I know the world is falling apart and I’m absorbed in my own personal drama. It feels selfish to be so angry at things that maybe won’t matter in a few years, but maybe they will.

It’s hard for me to let things go, to not take things personally, and when I’m under stress, my mind thinks of all the ways I can flee.

I think about packing my bags and leaving everything and everyone behind. I think about starting over in a new country. And there are other much darker ways I think of to escape my reality, but I settle to reading a book or watching a movie.

This situation in Lebanon is difficult for everyone, but I refuse to be an emotional punching bag, even though I use people as emotional punching bags sometimes.

Is this karma coming back to bite me?

Have I been such a terrible person to deserve this?

They say you settle for the love you think you deserve, so how low must I think of myself…

Is everyone else struggling with their loved ones like I am? Or did they choose more wisely?

I know I will get through this.

I always do.

I just got to be a little dramatic first…