Do you stay up late to watch your favorite show even though you’re tired and you know you’re going to wake up the next day feeling terrible?
Do you go ahead and eat that burger and fries or several donuts even though you know it’s going to make you feel bloated and lethargic later?
Do you keep procrastinating your workout because you’re too busy, even though you know you will be very stiff if you don’t at least stretch?
If you answered yes to any of these questions then you probably are sabotaging yourself. I know because I do all of the above!
What is self-sabotage?
refers to behaviors or thought patterns that hold you back and prevent you from doing what you want to do.Www.healthline.com
What are these thoughts and behaviors though? “Just one more episode”, “one more burger won’t kill me”, “I’ll exercise later”, “I got time”,… Etc. Sound familiar?
What causes self-sabotaging behavior?
Substance abuse, turning to food, or procrastination can all be ways in which we self-sabotage. We may also self-sabotage by not committing to relationships or being a poor friend even when connection is what we truly want.
Why do people self-sabotage?
Some individuals, of course, spend much of their lives struggling with powerful cravings for food, drink, gambling, or other temptations that come at a painful cost to their health or relationships. But the forces that lead to self-sabotage can also be more subtle, such as an accumulation of dysfunctional and distorted beliefs that lead people to underestimate their capabilities, suppress their feelings, or lash out at those around them. (source http://www.psychologytoday.com)
How do you stop self-sabotage?
The 1st step is realizing you’re doing it.
The 2nd step is knowing why. Are you stressed out so you need to watch to destress? Do you emotionally eat because you feel sad or angry or lonely so you seek comfort food? Are you a perfectionist or afraid of failure so you end up not even trying?
The 3rd step is setting limits and tiny goals for yourself. Start with one episode per night, or try waking up really early (after going to bed really early) and limit yourself to 1 episode a day. Have the burger and fries once a month and then once every 3 months. If your goal is working out daily, start with twice a week or 1 minute a day.
The 4th step is opening up to someone in order for them to help you and hold you accountable, so you don’t slip. I’m struggling over here. I do open up about these things (I’m doing it right now) but no one seems to care. I have 1 friend who keeps asking me if I’m exercising, and surprise surprise, I went from exercising once a week to 4 times a week. Now I just have to take care of everything else.
Following goals through isn’t easy, but it all comes down to the small habits you practice day in and day out. How you destress, what time you sleep and wake up, what you eat, how much physical activity you do, what you watch and read and how much, who you’re friends with, and last but not least, your mindset.
Self-sabotage is something I’m aware that I do and I want to stop it. I know it’s because I overwhelm myself with goals because I’m a perfectionist and I fear failure so I procrastinate. But I’m also impulsive so that counteracts the latter. I’m open and vulnerable and I’m not afraid to be myself (on the blog, not in real life) because I know that I’m not alone, and neither are you. We can stop self-sabotage together!
Do you self-sabotage?