Storytime: Day 3 of total lockdown

It’s day 3 of the total lockdown and I’m telling you it’s hard. Not because I’m not getting much of my goals done. Not because I can’t leave the house. Not because I’m moody and keep trying to tell myself “I am calm and in control of my emotions”. But because I have to walk on eggshells and one wrong move and all hell breaks loose.

That’s the thing with anxiety. I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside, I’m analyzing every movement, every word, and for some reason everything feels like an attack against me.

In my heart I know I’m just overwhelmed because of everything going on in the world and so is everyone else, but it’s like each person is expecting the other person to “tread lightly” and absorb all the negative emotions without being affected by them, but here’s the thing. I can absorb only a certain amount before I get soaked and then I need to squeeze myself and let it all out.

Anyway, I’m watching This is us, my current escapism. I’m forgetting about my goals for the day and focusing on coping techniques and just trying to keep absorbing as much as I can without getting soaked. I’m so glad I only have 1 child because I swear sometimes it feels like I have 2 and sometimes I feel like I’m the child again and life is too much responsibility and who thought it was a good idea to leave me responsible for a husband and a son?!

I will not blame my anger on anyone but will turn my anger into compassion and cut myself and others some slack

On the bright side, my mom called and we had a nice chat. I’ve also been talking to my sister daily on the phone and my brother called last night so it’s good to be in touch with family so I don’t feel like I’m in a bubble…

Are you in lockdown?

If yes, how are you doing?

Any tips for me so I stay zen?

Published by My Rollercoaster Journey

A personal blog where i offer my experience in parenting and mental health. Join me in my ups and downs as a mom with anxiety.

4 thoughts on “Storytime: Day 3 of total lockdown

  1. I kind of wish we were in lock down because then maybe we’d know eventually things could have the possibility of getting better. But as of now very few individuals are taking covid seriously and its nerve wrecking. I wholeheartedly understand where you are coming from, I have been stuffed with anxiety, I have a one year old baby boy and all I want to do be a good mom and woman and I feel like there’s so much happening and its hard to do everything that I want/need to do. Each day is a battle. I’m standing and claiming that we each will conquer anxiety though! Best wishes.

    Liked by 1 person

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