This is really a tough topic to write about for me, because I myself react to my boundaries being crossed by crying or anger (after holding it in, trying to let it go, bringing it up at the wrong time or in the wrong way, getting pushback, then exploding). I’m trying to learn and teach my son how to respond to boundaries in a healthy way.
So far I told him:
When someone says or does something that makes you uncomfortable, that is your boundary. Many people will cross your boundaries in life, now and when you grow up, and I want you to learn to react to your boundaries being crossed in a healthy way. Crying and yelling are unhealthy ways of reacting.
I wasn’t able to continue because my son got bored and distracted, but whenever I have the chance to continue, I’ll say:
What to do when someone crosses your boundaries:
- You can assertively tell the person who crossed your boundary that they made you feel uncomfortable and ask them to stop.
- You can choose to minimize interacting with this person (be it your parent, relative, friend) until they change their behavior.
- You can accept the person’s behavior if you see no hope in them changing or respecting your boundaries and you really want to spend time with them
I downloaded an ebook called “How to say no”. It’s about boundaries.
I’m yet to read it because I’m currently reading “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” and I’m benefitting from it greatly. I even paused reading “The 7 habits of highly effective people” this month to focus on it.
I hope I’m able to implement what I read. I hope I’m able to take the good in books and keep learning and improving. I don’t want to be stuck in learning phase. I want to feel like my thoughts are actually changing. I want my mindset to become a joyful one. I want to be able to speak my mind assertively and know what to say and when to say it and how to say it.
I want to be able to let things go. I have this fear of being treated as a doormat that I become aggressive when a boundary is crossed. People will often gaslight me when I set and try to protect my boundaries. I just hope that my son grows up to be someone who respects other people’s boundaries and sets his own boundaries assertively.
How do you react when someone crosses your boundaries?
I’m trying my best to be a good mom. I fail and win many times in the same day. I’m just trying to give my son a childhood he doesn’t have to recover from. If you liked this post, please click like, comment and share with your friends and family.
I started my self improvement journey when I became a mom. I realized that in order to be a good mom, I must work on myself. I must get to know myself and work on everything. Sometimes I overwhelm myself with self help books and working on too many things at once, but I hope I’m changing for the better. I’m definitely not the same person I was 5 years ago.
If you have any parenting or self improvement tips for me that have worked for you, fire away. If there are specific topics you want me to discuss or any questions you have for me, I’m all ears (technically I’m all eyes because I’m going to read your comments not hear them lol)