Hello 👋 reader and welcome to my blog!
How you doing today?
I’m so excited to share my thoughts and I’m afraid that I might forget them because I got them while cleaning the bathrooms (I listen to podcasts while I clean the bathrooms because I don’t like cleaning the bathrooms but I like the feeling that I get after I clean the bathrooms- so clean and shiny) so I stopped to write this.
I was listening to a podcast and they were giving relationship advice about mindfulness and about a how you need to sit with your spouse 5 minutes a day and just be mindful together and connect with each other, so it got me thinking that today I was very mindful (I’ll talk about that in a minute) but I was also reflecting upon my relationship with my husband.
There are things I can’t write here but basically what I can tell you is that I am very emotional and a hot head but at the same time I work really hard to connect with my husband emotionally and listening to the podcast got me thinking “oh wow! I really do some of these things. I actually I go to my husband and tell him I want to connect. I feel like we connect when we sit together in the evenings and I feel like when I don’t sit with you at the end of the day we disconnect” because sometimes I go to sleep early so I don’t sit with my husband in the evening and sometimes he’s in a bad mood and he needs to sit alone to distress and so I don’t sit with him. So on those days we don’t connect but the days I sit with him even if we just sit and talk to each other for 5 minutes or just sit and hold hands, it makes a really big difference.
Anyway, back to how I was mindful today. I understood that my son really needed my attention today and I’ve been seeing these posts on Instagram by a parent therapist I follow and she talked recently about how we need to give children attention when they seek it, otherwise their need for attention will become greater and more negative so ever since I saw these posts, I’ve been trying to give my son attention when I feel like he needs it and surprisingly when I do give him the attention he needs, even if it’s for like 5 or 10 minutes (it’s usually for about 20 minutes) he eventually goes off and plays independently for at least an hour, but when I don’t give him attention he becomes very clingy and he starts acting out like he’s jealous from me being on the phone for example.
Yesterday, I wasn’t very mindful. That’s an understatement. I was very emotional and edgy and my son acted out because of that.
However, today I’ve been up since dawn and I noticed that when I’m up since dawn I’m in a better mood generally because I’ve had my me time in the morning before my son wakes up. I exercised. I watched Gilmore Girls. I had my coffee peacefully. So when my son woke up at 8:30 in the morning, I embraced him waking up and I hugged him tightly and I gave him all my love and attention and I made him feel like I was so happy that he woke up because I was, even though I was in the middle of watching Gilmore Girls, I just paused it and I gave him all my attention. Then I made him crepes for breakfast (they’re actually pancakes but I call them crepes so he’ll eat them) and we ate together and everytime I noticed that I was trying to read blogs while I was eating because I generally tend to do that, I would put my phone away and tell him I’m putting my phone away because I want to spend time with you. Then he had his screen time while I had my screen time at the same time. We both had an hour each which is a lot. Usually I don’t give him more than half an hour at a time but because I was really into the show I was watching…
Later on, he played by himself a little bit but then he started asking for attention again and then I remembered that for the past 3 days he’s been asking me for hot chocolate and so I told him let’s make hot chocolate! So I made hot chocolate for him and for me. It was so nice. I don’t really get to do these things with many people and I’m not one of those moms who consider her son her best friend but it felt really good to connect with my son like that and he even let me video him. Since he was 4 until he turned six, he wouldn’t let me video him or take pictures, but now he does. He even said “if you want you can send it to whoever you want, but just ask me first”.
I feel like he’s matured a lot and I feel like he’s learned a lot of things that I taught him. I can’t take full credit for how he is because I feel like he’s an amazing kid and when I nurture the amazing side of him it thrives but when I focus on the negative side of him, it increases.
Anyway,after the hot chocolate, I read him a story, and then he had homework and he did it without a fuss! He usually fights me when I ask him to do his homework. Also, he was great on his online classes and he didn’t even give me any trouble!
I feel like I’m reluctant to tell people when my son is being an angel because a lot of people around me are constantly telling me how their kids are driving them crazy especially with what’s going on this year, kids being at home and everything, but I feel like maybe people are like me and they do have good moments but are reluctant to share them just like me.
However, I’m afraid that if I share when I’m having a good day, I’d rub it in the faces of those having a bad day. Anyway, so I decided to share it here and maybe tell my dad. I feel like my dad is the only person I don’t have to worry about when sharing good news.
Also one other thing that happened today is that my son went to my in laws (hence the writing on the blog in broad daylight) and before he went, I made sure to change all his clothes and cut his nails and brushed his hair. I feel so proud of myself that I made sure he looked presentable because I don’t always go to that effort.
I didn’t even have the attitude like “ok go I need my me time”. I basically stayed home so that I could clean the bathrooms and yeah I won’t turn down some extra me time. Before he left, I looked at him and he looked so cute and so sweet and I asked if I could take his picture and he said yes and I said “I’m really going to miss you when you go” and then he said “do you want to give me something?” (I feel like sometimes he may be materialistic but I think it’s because gift receiving is his love language). I said “no I just wanted to tell you that I’m going to miss you” so he said “why don’t you make me a surprise when I come back” and I said “you know what I’ll think about it” so I’m thinking of baking him cookies. I know he loves cookies. But 1st I’m going to clean the 3rd bathroom then eat. I didn’t have lunch yet and it’s 5:30 p.m. and I think I’m probably going to end up not telling my dad what happened or maybe tomorrow I’ll tell him. I just wanted to write this here because I feel like I share more of the negatives than the positives mainly because when I vent about the negatives, I feel better and usually when I’m feeling positive I’m usually mindful about it and I don’t really share with people when I’m busy living in the moment. Sometimes I do but you know when you are having so much fun that you forget to take pictures, it’s that kind of mindfulness.
So there you have it. I was very mindful today and I’m proud of myself and I’m really happy at the moment even though there’s a lot of negative events occurring around me and it’s making me kind of feel guilty to be happy or to express my happiness but I feel like I just needed to let it out so I felt like the blog was the safest place for me to express myself because ironically, most of the people I know personally do not read my blogs.
Were you mindful today?
If not, did this post help by reminding you to be mindful?