Happiness is a feeling; I breathe it all in

Happiness is a feeling, and what a fleeting feeling it is!

It comes and goes, and when it comes, I breathe it in like I breathe in the fresh air. When it goes, I feel claustrophobic, like the air was sucked out of the room and there is a brick on my chest.

Despite my pursuit of happiness, it comes when I least expect it. Like when I’m standing at dawn about to pray, and I look around me and feel so blessed, or when I’m watching Gilmore Girls and I feel grateful that at least I got it together more than Rory and Loralei, or when I’m in nature or with my family or playing a board game with my son.

I can touch happiness when I’m hugging my son.

I can taste happiness in ice cream and chocolate.

I can see happiness in the sunset.

I can hear happiness in the waves of the sea.

My life is as it was 2 days ago, but then I wasn’t feeling so happy, and now I am.

Happiness and overthinking are counterintuitive. If I think too hard, I remember all the things not going my way, and suddenly the spasms in my neck and shoulders are back, and a migraine is coming along.

Happiness is a pure feeling, tainted by jealousy, insecurity, fear, and resentment.

Sadness holds happiness’s hand sometimes, to remind her how fortunate she is, when she tells her stories of poverty, war and injustice. Happiness becomes bittersweet and decides to pray for the less fortunate and give charity when she can.

It makes no sense to drown in sadness because of what is happening in the world, nor is it right to walk around oblivious to the pain of our fellow humans.

We all have our pain to deal with. Happiness doesn’t come in the absence of pain. It comes despite the pain, and for pockets of time, happiness makes us forget how annoying our spouse is or how messed up our government is, or how sad our family situation is.

Happiness reminds us to be in the moment, to be content with what we have, to not worry about the future, to not get hung up on the past.

When people ask me how I am, it’s hard to explain, because the moment I stop to think about it, I feel I may go insane, so when I feel happy, I breathe it all in.

Do you feel happy for long periods? Does it last for days, hours, minutes, moments? Do you seek happiness or stumble upon it?

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