Parenting Catastrophe: Homework

I don’t have anything wise to say today. I’ve been a basket case lately, losing my temper every time my son disobeys me. I take everything personally. I start yelling and threatening, and obviously, that doesn’t work. I deleted all his games today because he hit me in front of his teacher when I asked him if he went to the bathroom at school. He didn’t hurt me, but I was so embarrassed. I wonder how many moms are hit by their 6-year-olds. A 2-year-old, maybe, but not a 6-year-old.

The only way to explain how I’ve been feeling is livid. But I’ve been acting a bit extreme, even for me. I don’t know why. My son seems to respond just fine most of the time when my husband steps in. My husband gets him to listen. I’m often too angry to act playfully with my son to get him to do what he has been told. My son tells me he doesn’t like to be told what to do. Everything is a battle. Getting dressed, meal times, and especially homework. My husband has taken over the bedtime routine lately because, by dinnertime, I’m practically the Hulk.

Ironically, that’s exactly what my son threatens to turn into when he gets angry. I let him watch an avenger movie and suddenly he thinks he is the Hulk. He has been obsessed with the avengers for months, and the Hulk is his favorite. He has also been taking karate classes and although they are making him stronger and more confident, he has become more aggressive towards me.

I was this close to giving up this morning when my husband suggested I drink some coffee and try to calm down. I’m not being able to be assertive towards my son, so I tend to be passive-aggressive with him and it doesn’t work. The bribing train has left the station a long time ago. Promising treats and extra screentime stopped working about a year ago.

Here’s the thing. You know when you have a job and you feel like you’re not qualified. You don’t get paid and there are few benefits and the job makes you feel miserable and stressed. Only there is no option to quit. There is no chance of a promotion, ever. You can never retire, so what do you do? That’s parenting for you.

There are moments I enjoy, like watching him walk on the sidewalk on his own, or when his teacher tells me he is doing well at school, or when he told me an hour ago that he is starting to like school because he is making friends. Little things like when he doesn’t give me a hard time with meals or when he goes to bed on time also ease the stress a bit. When he asks me questions as if I’m the wise wizard or something. But I feel the bond breaking and I don’t know how to stop it. I feel myself acting like my parents, expecting him to walk a straight arrow, and so I fold into myself.

Who said parenting was fun? My marriage is doing better, thankfully, and my husband and I are on a united front in dealing with my 6-year-old who is acting like a teenager. He can be so stubborn. Now if only I could harness that into leadership material. But I’m not even leadership material. I’m a follower. I don’t want to be, and I struggle to stand up for myself and be my own person, but look where that’s gotten me…

Anyway, I’ve been working on getting my son to do his homework for the past 2 hours. He just announced that he has finished and I just checked to make sure. I’m so relieved. But what happens when he has an exam? What happens when he moves up to higher grades? This is so nerve-wracking! I mean he is smart and finishes his homework quickly, when he wants to, but he never wants to. He doesn’t like doing homework and he especially detests writing.

Do you have trouble studying with your kids?

10 responses to “Parenting Catastrophe: Homework”

  1. AHHH this makes me rethink how much I want kids!! 🙃 Just kidding haha! First of all, I bet many many moms have been hit by their 6 year old so you’re not alone. Your son does sounds like he’s going through a teenager phase. And maybe the karate classes are turning into a reflex. You are doing the best you can, this won’t last forever. I’m glad you and your husband are a united front that’s the most important thing!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks. Having kids is definitely not for the faint of heart, but I admit when I got married, I wasn’t prepared for a kid right away. I married for the romance, and what a big shock was I in for about that too! A positive update, though, is that because I pushed myself to be patient and somewhat loving today, my son is doing better. Still pushing my boundaries but I’m dealing with it without rage so far). A pleasant surprise is when I went to hang the laundry dry, he offered to help (he rarely does), and I let him (I rarely do) and I focused on what a sweet thing he was doing for me rather than focusing on how he isn’t hanging the laundry symmetrically (I’m a bit neurotic about some things). I even thanked him and everything, so if you love kids, and have a lot of patience, having them isn’t so bad. It has it’s perks. They also look cute in outfits, so that’s a plus 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. This adorable anecdote of the laundry hanging gives me such a window into your relationship with your son. Despite the current difficulties and how much he pushes your boundaries, I can tell there is still the infinite amount of love between you.♡ Yes it sounds like children give us a lot of opportunities to grow…I will definitely have to practice being patient throughout the ups and downs. Thank you for sharing this positive update! I hope things continue to go smoothly🙂

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Thank you so much. Today’s morning routine went very smoothly and I’m so grateful. We arrived at his school all smiles, so all is good again. Like you said, it’s ups and downs but sharing on the blog and your comments really helped me.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Ahh that’s so pleasing to hear. I just typed “raising a child can be a rollercoaster” …then I realized THAT’s in the title of your blog😆🎢Well, it’s accurate! Cheers to you my friend!

            Liked by 2 people

            1. Exactly, such is my life, a rollercoaster. Thank you

              Liked by 2 people

  2. I was obsessed with making sure my kids got their homework done. Looking back I say let him have ownership and face the consequences of not doing homework. I wish I would have done that. Yes, it’s tough, but let him fail while he’s six or seven. Not fail when you’re paying top dollar for college and you can’t check his homework.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The problem is when I tried to do what you suggested yesterday, my husband came home very angry because he didn’t have his homework done. He then stated that our son must have his homework done by the time he comes home or I will be yelled at. So with a controlling husband, it’s kind of hard to make my own decisions sometimes.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s tough. I was insistent on homework being done all the way through high school and supervised my kids every single day. My son was valedictorian in high school and then flunked out his freshman year of college. He needed to learn accountability for his own actions when it wasn’t costing us $30,000 a year! I wish you luck!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Oh wow. Yeah, I see what you mean. Maybe I’ll have a talk with my husband and explain that to him, even though my son is in a private school so we are paying quite a lot.

          Liked by 1 person

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