Hello and welcome to my blog. I wanted to say happy February but then I got busy and forgot, so happy February everyone! I wanted to see what this month is special for, besides Chinese new year’s and valentines day, which I don’t celebrate, and turns out there are about 100 different holidays!
I made some designs for some February holidays. I may or may not add them to the shop. I m very sleepy and I don’t feel like updating about my shops and the courses im taking and what im up to, so I’ll tell you why im writing today.
I noticed I don’t talk about my son much on the blog anymore. It’s for 2 reasons. 1st is because he doesn’t like me talking about him. He is a very private person and he doesn’t like his habits and routines shared with other, not even close relatives, unless he chooses to share. So talking about him on the blog is a big no for him and I guess I have been subconsciously trying to honor that.
The 2nd reason is that, for the past few months, I have been having major marriage problems. Big fights, thoughts of divorce (from me), feeling miserable, depressed, resentful, stuck, hopeless, etc. But I failed to mention all the wonderful conversations my husband and I had, how we always reconciled no matter how badly we verbally hurt each other in our fights. I didn’t mention all the times he listened, or when he was kind to me, or how I love the relationship he has with my son. I failed to mention how hard he works just so we can afford an above-average life.
Especially during this economy, during which we are all stressed and burnt out, he pushes hard and does his best, then he comes home and wants to unwind, only to find an unhappy angry wife with a list of complaints. I just want to reassure you all that today im mentally much better. My depression is lifting a bit, but physically im still suffering from chronic pain. I called the doctor and told her im not getting better. She prescribed me medicine. Im taking it, waiting to feel better. My hormones are all over the place. But im glad that at least im at an okay place with my husband. Im reading The dance of anger and it’s really helpful and on point.
Anyway, I was writing to share one of my sons antics, even though I try not to, in order to respect his privacy, but this was just too cute. I was just reading a blog post about someone who gets nightmares and it reminded me of what my son told me tonight after he went to bed.
Him: Mom. Can you tie me to the bed while im asleep?
Me: What? Why?
Him: I’m afraid I might dream that I got up and opened the door, and then actually get up and open the door and accidentally lock myself out of the house.
Me: But you don’t sleep walk! You can’t actually get up while you’re sleeping. Don’t worry about it. You may laugh in your sleep sometimes but you have never talked or walked in your sleep.
Him: Oh okay.
I immediately shared this with my husband, stating how our son has a vivid imagination. Im glad I can at least share my sons antics with my husband. Sometimes I make the mistake of sharing in front of my son, especially when my son said or did something he shouldn’t have
not as in something bad but like if I bought something and I wanted to give some to my siblings and he said he didn’t want me to give them because then there would be less for me and him, this is considered culturally wrong. According to my son, it’s his right not to share, even if it’s something I bought because it’s for me and him and my husband but according to me, my answer varies but this time I wanted to share. Usually, if I don’t want to share, I won’t show them what I got and he ends up getting scolded for it by my husband and I feel bad because I feel like I embarrassed him.
Im going to sleep now. I have a migraine and my back and neck are acting up and I don’t want to take a muscle relaxant because it will make me groggy in the morning and my son has online school tomorrow
yes, they switched to online due to spiking covid cases in the school and today schools were all out due to a strike by teachers for being underpaid but I just wanted to share what I shared before I slept. I also have heartburn and flatulence. Good night.