No matter the weather, always bring your own sunshine

It’s been a crazy couple of days. My son slept over at my in-laws, and I had no say in it.
I cried and tried to talk to him but he wouldn’t talk to me.
So grateful to have my son back today.
My son enjoyed the sleepover, unaware that this was a power play by my sister in law.
So much drama. I’m just happy to have him back. Will never take my sunshine (my nickname for my son) for granted again.
Lately he has been driving me crazy and I have been acting out, saying things I don’t mean like im going to leave him or im not fit to be a parent. Looks like my husband took it all to heart. My mood was stormy. But today, looking at the clouds and taking pictures of them, in addition to spending time with my son, it melted my anger away.

11 responses to “No matter the weather, always bring your own sunshine”

  1. I think it’s important to not involve the children in our struggles. They are too young to understand our problems and always blame themselves if the mom is upset. That maybe contributing to his rebellious streak

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes, you have a point. I will work harder to not involve him with my struggles. He is just a kid, after all.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. He is and this sort of tug of war can have permanent effect on them. If the grandparents want him to spend time with them, send him over with your blessings and enjoy the me time it gives you. Hugs.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. When I became a parent, I thought I had to be perfect. I think that affects a lot of us. But parenting, mothering, is hard at the best of times without putting that weight on it. For those of us with chronic conditions like mental illness, it’s that much harder when things flare.

    I like the advice about enjoying the time he spends with the grandparents: it does give you both space. I appreciated my kids much more after a brief break, and I like to think it was mutual πŸ’–

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. Yes, parenting is hard, especially with anxiety. Im supposed to be helping him regulate his emotions. How am I supposed to do that when I don’t know how to regulate my own!

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      1. My grandon struggles to regulate his emotions at times. I think that sometimes, the emotions are they’re experiencing are too big for little bodies and so they have to act out to deal with the energy the feeling generate.

        They’re working on making changes to improve things but my daughter expects change to happen more quickly than it can, given his age. They’re practicing things like meditating and expressing anger appropriately, but younger children take longer to pick these things up than we do (mostly), and test us about the changes.

        I suggested she talk to him about learning these things together: kids like to help (especially if they can help mom), and they like being part of a team πŸ’

        Liked by 1 person

        1. That’s an idea. I tell my son that im trying to be a good mom and im trying to be calm.

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          1. I think that’s great 😊

            Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for including my answer in your post. I just read the whole blog post but since it opened on the website and not on word press reader, I wasn’t able to comment. Loved the post. Glad to know more about how you are irl

      Like

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