Hello and welcome to my blog. I’m in such a state right now about how unfair society is, especially to girls who wear a hijab. My sister in law called me today and told me we will be going to this place that has zip lining, sky walking, wall climbing, and such activities.
I was so excited to go and was trying to figure out what I’m going to wear and how im going to film myself as I go zip lining. It’s been my dream to go zip lining, and my younger sisters went a few times after I got married, but my husband wouldn’t let me go because my son was 2 or 3 at the time. But recently I found out (because he won’t say it outright) that my husband is against girls with hijab doing any activities. To him, it’s just a way to get the attention of men. So I, a married woman in a abaya, am definitely not allowed to go zip lining.
When I found out we were going (without my husband of course because he hates going out and would rather sleep) so that the kids can go zip lining and do other activities while we sit at a table and “eat chips and drink juice”, I lost it. I told my husband I’m not going if I can’t go zip lining. He said to ask his sister if she will look after our son. So I had to call her and tell her I’m not going because my husband wont let me do zip lining. She dismissed my feelings and my DREAM to go zip lining and said that I should go for my son. I asked her if she would look after my son for the trip. She said no. I cried for an hour, then when my son told me (because he has gone ziplining at that place before on a field trip) that a guy will be putting the harness on, so it’s inappropriate for him to put it on me on that area, especially since I have to lift my abaya to do it. I’m like the kids got a point, but that doesn’t undermine the fact that the Lebanese society has no regard for hijabi women who want to do activities.
When I went to Turkey with my mom, dad, brother and sisters, I went zip lining, but it was a very short zip line. There was a woman there specifically to put harnesses on hijabi women, or women in general, so that a guy doesn’t put a harness there and make the women uncomfortable. Why isn’t there something like this in Lebanon? Anyway, I’m sure that even if there was, my husband still wouldn’t let me go because his excuse was that he didn’t want men to “look at me” doing zip lining. Insert eye roll.
We ended up not going at all. My sister in law postponed it, even after I told her I will go for my son but I will be miserable the whole time. I was planning on looking at nature and taking pictures if I went, so that I don’t get bored.
I did this 21 day challenge that ended yesterday, but I don’t think it qualifies that I did it since I only did 3 things on the list. So I guess instead of “Make the best of your summer in 21 days”, it should be:
21 things I wish I could do this summer:
1. Go swimming
I wish I could go to the sea but they are filled with jellyfish. Not that my husband would take me if they weren’t, but I can be hopeful. I’m hoping we can go to the pool someday this summer. The jellyfish are gone and my husband says he will take us swimming one time this summer, but it’s August and I’m yet to see it happen. My sister in law is trying to make it happen but I’m doubtful. Last summer I went swimming one time with my in laws without my husband. I wasn’t able to swim because I had to stay with my son the whole time. Since my son is swimming once a week at camp, I’m hoping to go without him this time and actually swim.
2. Have a game night with your friends/family
1st of all, what friends? I don’t have the type of friends that would come over in the evening for game night, especially since I’m married and my husband would be on the TV and it would be awkward and uncomfortable. My mom is the only family member I have who enjoys board games, and when I visit my family, there’s often so much drama about who I spend time with and for how long. I usually play uno, monopoly or scrabble with my mom and sometimes my brother joins us, but since I started this challenge, I haven’t played with them because I haven’t been there in 2 weeks. I’m still counting it though since I have played board games with family this summer.
3. Have breakfast on your favourite coffee shop
My favorite coffee shop is too expensive now, so I can’t.
4. Make homemade ice cream
I’ve eaten ice cream several times this summer but I’ve never attempted to make it.
5. Get a haircut/makeover
I get a haircut every 2 years and I got a haircut more than a month ago but I’m counting it as part of the challenge since I did it in the summer.
6. Try geocaching
7. Go on a picnic
I’ve been dying to go on a picnic this summer but it just didn’t happen. Besides, I think a picnic is more a spring or fall activity given the heat we are getting this summer.
8. Have a photoshoot with some friends
Again. What friends?
9. Collect shells on the beach
If my husband, or anyone really, would take me to the area of the seaside where my son can run around and play with the ducks and chickens while I watch the waves and collect shells, that’d be great, but that hasn’t happened in over a year and when I went, it was with my dad. Maybe I can convince my dad to take us again. Oh yeah, and my friend took me briefly once but I didn’t enjoy it much because my son kept nagging (it wasn’t in the area where he could run freely) and insisted on getting his feet wet.
10. Meet a friend for a drink/meal
Again! What friend? There are 2 friends I’ve been trying to meet up with since forever and it’s not working out.
11. Sit in the sun for 15 min and get that vitamin D
I could do this on the balcony but it’s just so hot and I’d rather sit in the AC.
12. Explore a new place
I’ve been living in this area for 6 years and I am not going to explore on my own. There is this place a friend promised me will explore together but I’m yet to be able to take her up on that promise.
13. Try a new restaurant/coffee shop
I wish. There actually is a new restaurant about 10 minutes walking distance from my house, but I won’t go alone and I’m yet to find someone who wants to go with me. Maybe when I finally meet up with one of those 2 friends.
14. Look at old photo albums
I did this a week ago! I looked at videos and pictures of when my son was 3 and 4.
15. Make a memory box or a scrapbook
I already have 2 memory boxes.
16. Build a sand castle on the beach
That would require actually going to the beach, which I haven’t this summer because no one will take me and I don’t have a car and don’t want to go alone anyway.
17. Roast marshmallows and make s’mores
I recently bought marshmallows and I have cookies, so maybe I’ll do that soon.
18. Go for a night swim
Okay, I wouldn’t do this even if I could. I know the movies make it look cool but I find swimming at night terrifying.
19. Go to the movies
There are 3 problems here: the 1st is who will go with me/ take me? The 2nd is where will I put my son (since there’re no movies in Tripoli showing in the morning while my son is at camp)? And the 3rd is that with these prices, it’s too expensive to go to the movies now.
20. Try a new hobby today
I’ve tried drawing, coloring, painting, learning a new language, reading, writing, photography, and various sports. I don’t think I’m interested in starting something new.
21. Try out a DIY, you can find lots of them on Pinterest
I may know how to do DIY sometimes if it’s simple enough in order to occupy my son, but I don’t like it. I don’t want to.
To do this challenge, go to: https://21dayschallengeapp.com/app/challenge
Have you done anything from the list this summer? Do you have any suggestions for activities I can do that don’t involve a car or a lot of money?
- “I can’t do it”
- 10 habits I need to stop
- 10 random facts about me
- 10 things that make me happy
- 10 things that motivate or inspire me
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Update about the ziplining: I went with my in laws to take the kids zip lining and it turns out there is a woman who puts the harness on the girls, so I hurried and texted my husband, sent him voice messages and even called him but he ignored them all. I was hoping that under these new circumstances, my husband would change his mind and let me go, especially since there weren’t many people there, but he wouldn’t respond so I couldn’t go zip lining. What made me more upset is when I showed my sister in law and told her that there is a woman to put the harness and I taught her how to put the harness in a way it won’t show the shape of the body, she dismissed my feelings again and told me that the zip lining looks boring anyway and it’s not very interesting. And when I told her I’m heartbroken that I can’t go, she said “you’re not heartbroken or anything”. It really upset me. And then after that, she showed an interest in going zip lining but her neices shut her down (they came too but for some reason they wouldn’t do any activities. They just sat and ate potato chips).