Why I need to write things down

I write to-do lists to motivate myself to be productive. Otherwise, I give in to laziness and depression. I get anxious if I don’t write what I need to do because as a stay-at-home mom, I have a lot to do. Some people may think I just sit around and do nothing, and even though I do waste my time binge-watching sometimes, but I do get a lot done in a day. Maybe not as much compared to those housewives who cook and clean all day, but my productivity is about balance. For example, today I exercised and read Quran and prayed, and made sure my son studied. I did the dishes and laundry, watched 1 1/2 episodes of The Good Doctor, and did other little things, like making the beds and tidied up, and listened to my son, and assessed my goals for last week (something I usually do on Monday).

I write my goals to keep myself focused. Otherwise, I’ll just wander through the day passing the time. Besides being a mother and a housewife, I consider my writing my job. I take it very seriously, but I don’t force myself to do it. Yesterday I didn’t feel like writing, so I didn’t. I was in a mood all day because I hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before, and I was also trying to be productive while spending less time on my phone (I’m currently doing a productivity challenge on the 21 days challenges app).

I’m also doing a journaling challenge on the app because I need to self-reflect as well. I write to let things out, but I can’t write well if I don’t know what it is exactly what I need to let out. I called my mom yesterday. My relationship with my mom isn’t one I write about on the blog, but it is a bit complex. I love my mom. I do, but I’m still working on accepting her as she is and not expecting her to be like other moms, all while trying not to be like her while finding out I’m more like her than I care to admit. As I said, it’s complicated. Watching tv shows helps me self-reflect because I observe social interactions between the characters.

I write blogs to let my thoughts and feelings out. I’ve learned the hard way that nobody cares. Rarely anyone ever wants to know how my day went, except for my older sister sometimes. I share big stories that happened during the week with my family on Saturday, like when the glass fell on my arm and bruised it a week ago, and they make good stories. I’m good at telling a story with my family, as long as it doesn’t involve deep conversation. I find strangers are more invested in how I feel than my family, and can relate more.

I write my goals and tasks so that I don’t forget.

Grammarly doesn’t catch all mistakes, so I still had to reread the posts and edit more than 40 mistakes per post.

I write about my thoughts and feelings so I don’t ruminate over them. The blog is like a brain dump for me sometimes. If you ask me to reference my blogs, I honestly can’t remember. I edited a few blogs from 2017 a few days ago, because back then I used to write one paragraph and I made many grammatical mistakes.

These are the blogs I edited from 2017

I started this post aiming to write my progress with my goals, but I guess I’ll just take a picture of my assessment instead, like I did last week.

Physical goals increased 19% compared to last week, while emotional control decreased 14% compared to last week.

I keep obsessing over my stats. On the one hand, I noticed most people aren’t getting past my home page lately, which to me is bad. On the other hand, I have more views in these 6 months of 2021 than I had in all of 2020. Just a tiny bit more but still, it feels good.

5,725 views in the last 6 months compared to 5,711 views last year.

Also, I’m starving. I had a bowl of coco pops at 9 am and it’s after 1 pm. I also really need social connection but I also don’t feel like talking to anyone. Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy today. However, my son is starting to get bored, and he has been mouthy with me lately, but I don’t want to expose him on the blog. I’m hoping I’m able to deal with him with wisdom. For the time being, I’m practicing patience.

In conclusion, writing for me is a need and a want. I appreciate every one of you who takes the time to read my blogs, like, comment, and/or share. I don’t get paid to do this but I find a sense of belonging here more than I do with my friends and family. So thank you for being here with me on my rollercoaster journey, as I try to understand myself and as I reach out to you and try to give advice. I tear myself apart and bare my soul to you so you can understand yourselves better and hopefully help me understand myself better.

I write here because I need someone to write to, and in my life, I don’t have someone who will listen. Everyone is either busy or simply doesn’t care. I do have people who occasionally listen. I don’t want to sound ungrateful for the loved ones in my life, but they don’t read my blogs, so I very much appreciate that you do.

Thank you my readers from the US, India, UK, South Africa, Canada, and Lebanon.
Thank you my fellow bloggers who read the most. Thank you to those who read from Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram, no matter how few you are.

When I 1st started my blogging journey, I never imagined I’d get here, and yet here I am, with so far more to go. I just wanted to stop and acknowledge the progress I’ve made as a writer and to thank you my readers because I couldn’t have don’t it without you. With all the reasons in which I write, you are one of them. I write for myself, but I also write for you.

I’m off to eat lunch and then draw superheroes for my son because that was the deal. He studies and I draw things for him.

He has me draw the ones that are too hard for him to draw. I drew the 1st row. He drew the 2nd row.
He drew his dad as a superhero as well.

Throwback Thursday: Racism; A tale as old as time

Hello and welcome to my blog! I am a very nostalgic person. I often go back to old pictures and videos, reminisce about the old days (before I got married) and so throwback Thursday suits me perfectly. I have too many blogs to go through all of them (767 and counting), but it’s nice to see what was on my mind exactly a year ago.

On June 10th 2020, I wrote about racism:

Disclaimer: I was very reluctant to talk about this because as a white person, I didn’t think I had any knowledge of racism, but a lot goes unnoticed when you don’t pay attention.

Close your eyes and put your hand over your heart. What do you hear? A heartbeat. I bet you if a Caucasian or an Asian or an African closed their eyes and put their hand over their heart, they would hear the same thing. A heartbeat.

We all have the same internal organs. We all feel the same range of emotions. Happiness, sadness, fear, anger,… Love. So why are some people treated with more preference over others?

You see… Racism is a tale as old as time. When the Pharaohs were still around, there were kings and there were slaves. There was a hierarchy in the society, and if you were born a slave, you remained so all your life. That is racism based on social status.

Around the time of the prophet Mohammed PBUH, there was slavery. The prophet banned slavery and made it clear in Quranic verses and hadiths that no white man is better than a black man except by piety.

I don’t know how to address this. I don’t live in America, but I have been bullied in Lebanon because I’m half American. Some Lebanese are racist and hate Americans and think that Lebanese are smart and Americans are stupid. They pride themselves on their attributes and think of Americans as selfish and ignorant. I said some. The thing is when you don’t know someone, and you make snap judgments about them, you come to hate them and your mind wards off any evidence contrary to your fixed belief.

The same applies when you believe all African Americans are drug dealers, or all Asians are whatever stereotype Asians are given, or all Italians as mobsters, or all Muslims or Arabs as terrorists, that’s racism. You are judging an entire race by the actions of a few. There are American terrorists. There are French mobsters. There are Swedish drug dealers. Maybe. I don’t know. My point is corrupt people come in all ethnicities and colors, and so do kind good honest people.

We should treat people based on how they treat us, not by the color of their skin. Another thing I noticed while living in Lebanon, is that the only dark brown people I’ve ever seen were Ethiopian maids. I do not know Ethiopia, but this made me believe that maybe it’s such a poor country that women are forced to leave their country and work as maids in homes, and are often mistreated because their lives are so bad in Ethiopia. So after some digging, I found that:

Ethiopia has one of the fastest-growing economies in the world and is Africa’s second most populous country, with 23.5% of the population below the poverty line.

Let me tell you something ironic. Before all this drastic fall of the economy happened in Lebanon starting October 2019, 40% of the population lived below the poverty line. There are no statistics up to date, but I’ll bet in a year there will be around 60% Lebanese below the poverty line, which makes Ethiopians richer than Lebanese. So according to racists who believe Lebanese are better than Ethiopians because they have more money, this does not make sense.

Back to the racism problem in America. It is only prominant in America because there is such a wide range of ethnicities in the “Land of opportunities”. However, this type of racism is present worldwide. A lot of people are denied jobs or given less pay because of their skin color. As a result, people who are not white are more likely to be poor. Click here for the statistics regarding poverty in America.

Here in Lebanon, the Syrian refugees are only given jobs as janitors or construction workers. I know that Lebanon specifically has a problem with job opportunities. An overflow of college graduates and not enough jobs to move the economy. Again, I’m no expert, but you tell me. When a Syrian is payed an amount a Lebanese would never agree to work for, isn’t that racism?

Again, I’m not an expert in economy. I only know that racism is when you think you’re better than someone because of the color of your skin or ethnicity or social status.

Your kindness makes you better. Your generosity makes you better. Your humility makes you better. You thinking you’re not any better than anyone else, and that we are all humans, worthy or life, love, respect, and dignity, is what makes you, in God’s eyes, better than the racists who think they’re better.

I try not to provoke anyone with my writings. I say I’m like an ostrich, burying my head in the sand when I’m scared, but that’s a myth. Ostriches stick their heads in the sand to hide their eggs and protect their young.

I hope my words explained what racism is, because you can be racist without noticing it. You can go along all your life functioning with what you feel is the norm because that’s what everyone around you does. So if you see any signs of racism happening in front of you, speak up, say it’s wrong, and if you can, prevent it.

As long as white people are quiet about the racism that happens around them, it will continue to happen.Good night 😴

1. Racism is still ongoing. Despite the increased awareness, protests, petitions, it is just ingrained in some people.

2. The dollar is now 14,000LL and the poverty rate is 55% in Lebanon.

3. Ethiopia is not richer than Lebanon. According to Global Finance, Lebanon is ranked 107 while Ethiopia is 165. There is yet hope for Lebanon.

4. I was listening to a podcast yesterday about unconscious bias so I will correct myself for using the phrase “you can be racist without noticing it”. People with unconscious bias are not racist. Racism is intentional. If it’s unintentional, it’s unconscious bias.

Read the 1st chapter of my 1st novella FOR FREE!

Hello and welcome to my blog! How are you doing? I know I’m really bad at self promotion but recently, I published a new book where I gathered my top 13 viewed blog posts and spruced them up and published them as a kindle ebook. I remember I wrote a post about it.

Anyway, a few days ago, I go into the kdp website, and bam! A new feature called kindle vella series is up, where if you have a story for a novel but you’re not quite done with it, you can post one chapter at a time.

So I don’t know if you know this, but 9 months ago, I took a 3 day creative writing course (I mentioned it in my blogs somewhere) and it sparked my creativity and ever since, I had an idea for a novel.

It took me a month to write the outline for the novel and even longer to write the 1st chapter. I struggled because I’ve never written a novel before, and also being at home with my son in the middle of a pandemic isn’t ideal for a writer. Writers need solitude, like a cabin in the woods or a house on the beach kind of solitude.

Anyway, I did manage to publish 3 poetry books (oh yeah, I forgot to promote my new poetry book “Determination and other poems”. I merely mentioned it in a wordpress story when I published it but it’s not available for buying now anyway because I just enrolled it in kdp select) and 4 mini biography booklets, a self reflection workbook, and the top 13 blog posts booklet.

Ok so this is my author page on Amazon.

You will only find 8 of my books there, because the other 5 are enrolled in kdp select, including my newest book. This means that they’re available for free to anyone who has kindle unlimited (10$/month subscription). I totally recommend this if you can enroll in kindle unlimited because it gives you the chance to read as much as you like of my books that are enrolled. You can also give me feedback on what you think of my books. I once read that a book is not complete until it’s read, so I need your feedback.

I’m working on having a paperback version available for all my books for those who prefer to read the book as a book and not as an ebook.

I only wrote 1 chapter so I submitted it and I’m waiting for your reviews on Amazon so I can move forward and continue writing this novel after Ramadan.

However, kindle vella is still in beta mode, so they’re not available yet.

Kindle Vella stories will be available to readers in the US in the coming months through the Kindle app for iOS and on http://Amazon.com

It’s called “Tony and Sandra: A story of love, loss, and healing”

So far I know you’re supposed to buy tokens to read chapters but the 1st few chapters are for free!

Worst promo ever, I know. In conclusion, check out my books on amazon and if you order a paperback, let me know what you think. Send me pictures of the book please (I also want to know what you think of the books if you read the Kindle version). I may use those pictures as promotion on instagram. If you have kindle unlimited, check out my books Life after Freedom ends, Determination and other poems, Growing up between USA and Lebanon, Heart on my sleeve and other poems, and Motherhood in poems. If you don’t, sign up here for kindle unlimited.

I also realized many fellow bloggers have published new books, so I want to pay it forward and spread the word about their books and encourage you to check them out.

Journeyman’s Legacy published a book called Relationship Reflections

How to teach a difficult child published 3 books about life reflections and poetry.

From famine to feast recently published a book about eating disorders.

In this day and age, there is an infinity of books to read, movies to watch, podcasts to listen to, and blogs to read, so thank you for taking the time and choosing my blog.

This is my podcast My Rollercoaster Journey.

And you already know where to find my books.

Throwback Thursday: Sleep training my son

Hello and welcome to my blog! Oh boy. I reread this from March 11th 2020 and I laughed. I remember struggling to sleep train my son on and off for years. I don’t remember how I finally managed to sleep train him (or maybe I didn’t because I still sleep in the same room as him sometimes) but at least now he falls asleep without me lying down next to him until he does. He doesn’t sleep until 10:30pm so did I really sleep train him? I have no idea.

Here is what I wrote on day 1 of sleep training my then 5 year old

March 11th 2020
6pm: I decided my 5 year old will start sleeping in his room. I told him he is a big boy now and this is my 100th attempt to get him to sleep in his room. He has been kicking me in the face and in the back while he sleeps. I have slept in his room on many occasions because i was uncomfortable with him next to me.
I explained to him that i need a good night’s sleep to be a happy mommy that doesn’t yell or spank. He agreed.
8pm: Now that bedtime approaches, he refuses to go into his room until i get him a baby brother. This isn’t possible. It’s not magic. So what should i do to get him to sleep in his room tonight?
I told him i will lie down next to him until he falls asleep, and will read him a story as well. I also said that if he gets scared at night, he can come and lie down next to us, but only if he gets scared.
I don’t want to force him, but i will if i have to. So what should i do?
He is currently crying and has hid himself in the living room. Everytime i try to get him to sleep in his bed, he cries and i give in. But i made my mind up today. I will try it for 3 days and let’s see what happens.
8:30pm: I suggested he sleeps with his favorite stuffed animal and he agreed. He climbed into bed and then i remembered he still needs to go to the bathroom and brush his teeth so i told him to get up. I hope he doesn’t change his mind after brushing his teeth.
8:45pm: He is in his bed now, with me next to him. He told me he will only sleep here tonight and only if i leave the hallway light on.
9:10pm: Two stories and 1 drink of water later, he is still in bed but occassionally breaks into song. So still going strong, but now i need to try not to fall asleep.
9:30pm: I’ve already yelled 3 times. Once for his continuous singing, once because he keeps uncovering because he wants to “air his feet” and once because he got out of bed and when i asked him why he replied “because what am i supposed to be doing here?” to which i said “you’re supposed to sleep” and i threatened i would turn the hallway light off if he didn’t close his eyes and sleep, to which he replied by calling me a bad mommy and i replied by calling him a bad boy. I feel guilty enough. You don’t need to tell me i shouldn’t have said that. Anyway, he is back in bed. Awake.
9:35pm: I apologized for calling him a bad boy. He apologized for calling me a bad mommy. I told him “i know it’s hard sleeping in your bed after not sleeping in it for a year (he slept in his bed from age 2 until age 4,when he developed a fear of ghosts, wolves, the dark, demons, toys coming to life at night, and started getting nightmares) but I’m here with you so don’t be afraid”. He nodded his head and smiled. We held hands for a minute.
9:40pm: Hallelujah 🙌 he is asleep!
Disclaimer: On school nights, i begin putting him to bed at 7 but due to the corona virus outbreak, i am announcing bedtime between 8 and 9, depending on what time he woke up. Today he woke up 9am.

School nights 😂 this really made me laugh. We’ve been in this pandemic a year people. Longest decade ever.

Throwback Thursday: My big announcement

Hello and welcome to my blog! A year ago, I published my 1st book.

Little did I know, a pandemic would break out a few days later, or that I’d publish 6 more books in a few months, or that my books wouldn’t sell much. It was a milestone, and I’m proud of it. It’s nice to look back and see how far you’ve come every once in a while. A year later and we’re still in a pandemic, and the economic and political situation is terrible in Lebanon. I didn’t see that one coming. Well, the revolution had occured 5 months prior but still.

This is what I wrote a year ago: I have a big announcement 📢

I still can’t believe it.
I can’t wrap my head around it.
When I was 14, I wrote a poem about time. I remember 1 verse in it “time flies by when you’re having fun, and it sticks around when you’re having none” and I wanted to submit it in my school competition.
My then english teacher threw it in my face, said “this is not even a real poem” and I didn’t write a single poem again for 5 years.
For the past 9 years, coming on to 10, I’ve been writing poetry. I didn’t study poetry. I just read a lot, and I write a lot.
When inspiration strikes, I must leave everything and write, otherwise I forget the words.
When my feelings are jumbled inside or my inner voice is confused by the influence of other voices around me, writing poems helps me understand my feelings and sort my thoughts.
I wasn’t always courageous enough to share my poems. I started by sharing them to those close to me, and with enough positive feedback from these people, some who I have fallen out of touch with but will never forget their support, I began to share my poems with the world.
When I 1st started sharing my poems on my blog, I was scared. After all, this was a blog, which is very different from my poetry, but the positive feedback I recieved on the blog was so flattering. People would say things like “it’s like you were talking about me” and “everything you said resonates with me” and much more encouraging feedback.
We are a community, and your support has given me the courage to pursue the one dream i haven’t given up on yet, to publish a book.
I always thought that when I published a book, it would be a self help book or an autobiography, but your faith in me and my poems made it possible, with God’s will, to finally become an author on Amazon!
This is huge! (sorry I know that phrase reminds you of a certain someone but no political pun intended).
So thank you to all those who read my blogs.
Thank you to all those who read my poems.
Thank you to all those who have given me gushing feedback.
Thank you to everyone who believed in me.
And to that english teacher who shall not be named, look at me now! The poems I have published are only 10% of my total poems, not including the 100 poems I wrote (including that one about time) when i was 14 before I owned a phone or laptop, gave the book to my sister, and then it was lost when her house flooded.
I will keep on reading, keep on writing, keep on improving.
If you want to read my book on kindle, go to Amazon.
The paperback version will be available for sale on Amazon in 3 days, if God wills, for those who can’t read ebooks and would prefer the physical book.
My book is available worldwide and will even be extended to libraries and bookstores.
If you have an idea to start a book, my advice to you is just do it.
Note: For my Lebanese followers, kindle unlimited is not available in Lebanon, but starting June 1st, you can buy my ebook on Amazon.

Storytime: I feel like Riley from Inside Out

Have you ever watched the movie Inside out? It’s a Disney Pixar movie that I recommend 💯 for all ages. I’m yet to watch Inside out 2, but part 1 is amazing.

Basically it’s about a girl who moves to a new school, new city and is dealing with overwhelming sadness I think. They show you all the emotions in her head trying to control her actions.

The inside of her brain is separated into family, friendship, imagination, etc. As she learns to grow up, she battles with her negative emotions.

So lately there has been a lot of drama in my personal life, and it’s sucking me into this vortex of negativity that I’m struggling to get out of.

If I were to make a map of the inside of my head, there would be personal development (enriching my brain and body), family, friendship, writing, spirituality, and emotional well being.

Ever since the beginning of January, I haven’t been able to really work on my goals because I’m too burnt out and having panic attacks. I’ve been meditating so that I have less panic attacks.

2020 has been very isolating for me and I’m craving attention from people who aren’t able to give me what I need. So after trying so hard to get their attention and only getting negative attention, I have decided to back off. I have my son, as exhausting as being with him all day is, he still makes me smile, even though when he is around, I can’t read or write blogs (he just fell asleep at 10pm which is why I’m able to write this post).

He drew and colored this all by himself. How awesome is that?! He is the one wearing green and orange, surfing. It’s a fun day at the beach of the whole family (I forgot to ask who is who)

I think I’m going to watch the movie Inside Out again so I can remember the takeaway messages from the movie.

Have you ever watched Inside Out? If yes, what are your thoughts about it?

As 2020 turns into 2021, what will happen in “This is Us”?

I had been sleeping perfectly fine for 2 weeks. 10pm sharp I’d be asleep. I don’t know how I jinxed it, but I did. Maybe because I started watching tv shows (currently This is Us) at night again.

Is it a coincidence that at the end of the year, while I’m trying to reflect on 2020 and plan 2021, I happened to watch the episodes about Thanksgiving and Christmas last night? I think not. I can’t wait to find out what happens next.

It’s funny how I’m more invested in the future in a tv show than I am in my real life. Like will Kate lose the weight? Will Kevin find the love of his life? Will William die? Will Randal recover emotionally?

Maybe because I don’t see the bright side in my real life yet, the silver lining,… I think of 2020 highlights and remember the bushfires in Australia (which are predicted to happen in 2021 too), COVID-19 and lockdowns and deaths and illnesses (which still isn’t over and COVID-20 is predicted on the horizon). In 2020 so many people were killed, including George Floyd and many others like him. In 2020 the US elections happened, and the Lebanese elections didn’t. Since October 2019 and things in Lebanon just keep getting worse. Not to mention the wars in Syria and Palestine and other countries and all the Muslims being prosecuted worldwide.

I’ll stop here

If you wanted to read the news, you wouldn’t be reading this blog. Is it so wrong that I can’t stand to watch the news and so I watch TV shows instead?

Ask anyone who really knows me, and they will tell you that I am not a tv person, until quarantine happened and now movies and tv shows are my drug, in addition to reading, writing, eating carbs and junk, and any other unhealthy coping mechanism that exploded.

But guess what? I don’t get to play monopoly on pain and disappointment and misfortune and stress. I’m not alone, but I sure do feel really lonely. Or else I wouldn’t feel the need to do all this.

I wrote my weekly plannar for the 1st week of January 2021. My goals since November have been keeping me grounded, but I keep getting distracted by tv shows and sometimes movies, but mostly tv shows. They’re more addictive.

So in an effort to end on a positive note, here are some good things that happened to me in 2020:

  • I published my 1st book in March, followed by 6 more books. Nobody’s buying them, and that’s okay, because after reading about how to become a better writer, I’m not convinced they’re good enough anymore. I fight the urge to unpublish them everyday, because I need to rewrite them and republish them and I’m too busy with other things.
  • I got better at baking. I finally kniw how to bake cookies and brownies (I used to only know how to bake cake). I still don’t make my own bread though.
  • I got better at planning, obviously. I used to write new years resolutions and forget about them but I’m getting better and planning goals and following through. I’m still not exercising daily or eating very healthy but I’m better than I was last year, I hope.
  • My views on wordpress exploded. Compared to other blogs, I’m a nobody, but compared to my blog last year, my views have multiplied and the quality and quantity of my posts has increased.

That’s it for me. I wish I had more, but the rest is just blah. As for in the world, what positive things have happenedin 2020?

Read https://www.huffpost.com/entry/good-things-happened-2020_l_5feb660fc5b6ff7479847494

Although I may not agree with everything in the above link as positive news, but I keep my religious opinions to myself. My blog here is a free space so I take what I agree with when I read and reject what contradicts with my logic and religion.

May 2021 be a better year than 2020.

May we all grow into better people.

May we all crush our goals and preserve our healthy relationships and end or at least limit toxic ones.

May corona virus and quarantine end and we can all go back to normal life, whatever that was.

And most importantly, I hope Kate loses the weight and Kevin finds the love of his life. I’m off to watch the next episode of This is us at 3 a.m. to find out.

Staying happy while social distancing

Hello 👋 how are you doing lately?

I know a lot of countries are in lockdown now, including the UK and Australia, maybe even parts of the USA. Meanwhile, other areas are undergoing certain restrictions.

I know there is too much negativity on the news, so I try to steer clear of these topics here and I avoid watching the news as much as possible, but then I’m on instagram a lot so the news kind of follows me.

Anyway, I was doing some self care activities on this application called Joy Score, and I came across some tips on how to stay happy while social distancing and I thought I’d share them here on the blog. I recommend this application if you’re into this kind of thing. I’m a big fan of self improvement any way I can get it: books, podcasts, applications, YouTube videos, etc.

How to stay happy while social distancing

  1. Maintain some level of happiness: it sound rhetorical but basically it means to create your own happiness rather than relying on the people in your life to make you happy
  2. Draw the energy to combat a crisis: drawing and coloring have been known to relieve stress, but drawing more so to express the supressed feelings you have about COVID-19, the economic and political situation, etc.
  3. Increase resilience: adversity builds resilience. You know what they say “don’t pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a hard life” or something like that.
  4. Establish a routine: with everything chaotic and so many things unpredictable, creating a morning and bedtime routine help give you a sense of stability and control over your life. Maintain routines: just like it’s not enough to write down your goals, but you must create an action plan and actually follow those goals, so it is important to follow through with your routines and adjust them when necessary.
  5. Go to bed and wake up on your typical schedule: even if you don’t have anywhere to go, going to sleep and waking up at the same time everyday regulates your carcadian rhythm and in turn decreases stress.
  6. Eat regular meals at regular intervals: trust me on this, because I haven’t been doing this and my appetite is weird.
  7. Exercise : this is timeless advice, especially with staying at home more, don’t fall into a sedentary lifestyle.
  8. Go for a morning walk: I wish I could do this now, but when my son was going to school briefly, I got my steps up to 6,000 as opposed to 2,000 when he isn’t going to school.
  9. Practice self-compassion: turning my anger into compassion is something I am working on with others, but being kind to yourself is a prerequisite to being kind to others. Accept and forgive yourself for what you may not accomplish. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing the best you can. Be mindful of negative thoughts: notice them, acknoledge them, then let them go.
  10. Express gratitude: towards everything you have. So many people would kill to have the life you have. Be content with what you have and don’t compare your life to that of others. The grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s green where you water it.
  11. Be kind and compassionate towards others: everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about, and usually the ones who need love the most are the ones who ask for it in the most unlovable ways.
  12. Last but not least, spend more time at home, with your family. We’re in the middle of a pandemic, and they’re even staying COVID-20 is on the rise, so wear a mask, maintain a 6 foot distance from others, wash your hands, avoid crowded areas, and if you don’t have to go out, stay at home (nature walks excluded).

All you need is LOVE!

Hello 👋 reader and welcome to my blog! Thank you so much for tuning in to read about my thoughts and feelings and my ideas about the world.

If you’re familiar with my blogs, you’d notice I’m into psychology and everything about the self (self care, self improvement, self love, self reflection) and so today I have come to an important realization.

I have come to this realization time and time again but as humans do, I tend to forget and pine after what I don’t have and forget to apreciate what I do have.

What I have noticed today after interacting with a few friends and my sister is that I felt loved. I don’t feel this everyday. My mood fluctuates a lot and sometimes throughout the day. For example, I got angry several times today, even enraged a couple of times. But right now, I just feel loved. I don’t know how else to describe it.

That brought me to the realization that all we need and all we ever needed was love. To love and be loved.

Whether you’re a sibling or parent or child or friend, all you need is LOVE.

I know it sounds corny, but hear me out. No matter how much money you have or how many things you buy or how much entertainment you fill your time with, it all comes down to who you love in your life and who loves you.

Rich or poor, married or single, old or young, we all need someone to care for, and someone who will care for us. In the end, we are only truly happy when we have someone who laughs at our jokes, listens to our stories, reassures us that we’re not crazy when we talk about our pain.

Even children, I’ve read about it so many times, don’t need elaborate parties and toys. They need someone to sit with them and tell them that they love the way they draw and love them no matter what.

In this world, the miserable people are the ones who need the most love but don’t know how to ask for it, and the unhappy people are the ones who truly and utterly feel ALONE.

So in this holiday season, though I don’t celebrate Christmas, I wish everyone happiness, health and togetherness. I hope you are all giving and receiving tenderness, love and care from your families and friends.

May your holidays be filled with LOVE!

Go ahead and spread kindness like confetti 🎊

Turning the page on 2020

Hello 👋 reader and welcome to my blog!

It’s a week until New Year’s and 2020 will finally be over. Here’s to hoping 2021 will be a better year. Despite the rollercoaster of a year filled with tragedy, I still managed to achieve some goals and restore some order to my life by making monthly goals for November and December of this year.

Today I’m reflecting on my December goals (I know December isn’t over yet but since my son will be taking a 2 week vacation from school so I won’t have much me time to focus on my goals in these 2 weeks, hence the early reflection)


I don’t celebrate Christmas because I’m a Muslim and it’s a Christian holiday (Christmas symbolizes the birth of Jesus as Christians consider him to be God or the son of God استغفر الله) but as a Muslim, I believe in 1 God and Jesus is his messenger. However, since I live in a multisectarian country with Muslims and Christians, schools must take both Muslim and Christian holidays (good news for students and teachers but bad news for parents).

This month, I made 20 goals (I know that’s overwhelming but last month I made 29 goals so I’m getting better). I won’t go in detail about each goal, but I’ll tell you that I categorized them into personal, social, spiritual, reading, writing, and physical. I tried to stick to 3 goals per category.

As you can see, week by week, my performance in these goals fluctuated. Week 1 I was best at writing, week 2 I brought my spiritual A game, and in week 3 I pulled myself together socially, physically and kept on reading increasingly from the beginning of the month until today (2 pages a day, don’t be impressed). Here’s to hoping I don’t fall apart completely in the 4th week!

This last week of December I’ll be reassessing my goals and what I need to focus on in the future, and I’ll be planning for a better 2021.

How will I plan for 2021?

1. Calender

I did this in 2020 for the 1st time. I printed out a calender where each month had a quote on it and there was an empty page where I drew and decorated.

I drew and cut and colored for each month until I got to September because I got discouraged.

This year I will print out another calender but I will decorate it differently (no sneak peaks, I’ll show you when I make it).

2. Monthly goals

Since I really enjoyed making goals for November and December (although a bit overwhelming), I decided to continue this into 2021, but I will try to limit myself to 2 goals per category.

The categories may change as well once I write my mission statement (I printed out the template and action words and I plan to fill them out before new year’s).

3. Weekly planning

I haven’t done this before, but I’ve been reading a lot about time management and Stephan Covey said weekly plannars are very important so I’m going to give it a shot.

I’m not done reading this chapter yet but this is the template for weekly plannars from the book The 7 habits of highly effective people

4. To-do lists

I’ve been writing these for years, but this time I’ll try to do them differently. I usually jot down 20 tasks to do per day, or nothing at all. I’ll try my best to not put more than 10 tasks on my list and to create a morning and evening routine such that I don’t even have to write it down. I’ll also try to prioritize the 3 most important tasks and do them 1st if I can.

Yesterday’s to-do list

I hope you enjoyed this overview into how I plan my life. There is a lot of unplanned events that I don’t write down. People can be very unpredictable. My mood and health throw me off balance too sometimes. It’s important to plan ahead and work on your goals but to also be flexible so that when something happens (a death in the family, sickness, bad weather,…) it doesn’t discourage you from working on achieving your goals.

Have you reflected on 2020 yet?

What do you have planned for 2021?