Are you living in your comfort zone?

Disclaimer: I think we are all uncomfortable at the moment. Some of us are in panic mode (fear zone), some in the learning zone, and the few of us experiencing growth are the lucky ones.

I think I generally fluctuate between comfort zone and fear zone. I’ve been called out about that several times. Every once in a while, I venture out to the learning zone, and when my anxiety becomes too high because there are too many things to apply (eat healthy, sleep early, wake up early, phone detox, read more, exercise daily, eventually drive and get a job) , I go back to my comfort zone. On few occasions I’ve run through my panic (I’m very impulsive despite having anxiety) and reached personal growth. My goal is to reach growth on every level, but it’s easier said than done.

How to step out of your comfort zone bit by bit?

That workout you need to do but feel too lazy to do? Just do it!

Avoiding comfronting someone so you don’t rock the boat? Think it through. Know what to say and how. Delete the story in your head. Be open to a different perspective. And then go confront them, but not in a hostile manner. Also pick the right timing.

I want to live a life that it bigger than myself. I want to make a difference. I can’t do that hiding in my house and avoiding people. I know that, and I’m working on it. I think. Maybe I should do a quiz just to make sure.

Or I could just move to Ireland

5 Modes of living (reblog from Remindful UK)

Are you always in firefighting mode, avoiding disaster? Arguably, this is only one of five modes of living. What might the other four be?

5 Modes of living

Thank you for this. I now understand why I’ve been feeling this way lately. I’ve been surviving. I need to go back to thriving and creating.

I miss going places

Two weeks ago, I was dying to go to the beach. We haven’t swum at all this summer. We haven’t travelled. We haven’t gone many places. My siblings didn’t visit from America, and we spent most of our days at home.

I blamed it on covid and I was ok with it because I thought everybody was staying home, but it turns out you can go out without getting in contact with other people, it’s just that my husband prefers to stay home.

My son not going to school because of covid plays a big role, because I used to have a breather then.
Anyway, so 2 weeks ago my husband took us to the port (not the water you’re supposed to swim in) so I can catch the sunset.

He was late so we missed the sunset and my son threw a tantrum because he wanted to go in the water, and I was barely able to take a few pictures while my husband waited in the car.

So that’s it.

That’s the last time we “went out”.

The time before that was 3 months ago, with a friend and her kids and my son.

Now THAT was fun.

Are you staying home or going places?

The next big thing for Lebanon in 2020

I googled “the next big thing for Lebanon” hoping to find some reassurrance of hope for prosperity that would calm my fears of there being a war or some other unexpected outbreak in Lebanon.

The reason why I did this Google search is because, the reason I do all my Google searches, I was feeling lost and confused. People around me are losing hope for a better Lebanon. I’m losing hope for a better Lebanon. I fear the worst now. This isn’t about COVID-19 only. It’s about the politicial and economic situation, on top of everything else. This is about the wifi disconnecting yesterday during my son’s online class. I know he is only 5 so to some people his online learning isn’t so important. But it’s frustrating.

Back to the Google search, needless to say, I was shocked by the results that came up.

The 1st result I got was about rising bands and musicians in Lebanon. Not something I particularly care about.

The next result was about how AI (artificial intelligence) is the future. I can’t say I like that idea. I mean, have you watched “I robot” starring Will Smith? Can you imagine the loss of jobs?

The 3rd result was about a lebanese fashion designer, and how apparently he is the next big thing. Sure, Lebanon is on the brink of poverty, but please tell me more about how this will help. I’m not judging fashionistas, but I do have my opinions.

The 4th result was how something from Sephora costs 107$ and that it is the next big thing. Cool. Great. Thank you, next.

Then there were a few old searches from April about Lebanon’s new deal regarding the debt and other opportunitues that looked like spams. Moving on.

There was a result about some new Christmas decorations coming up and how there will be a souk in snow. Again, not what I was looking for.

When I added 2020 to my search, I got what I was looking for, kind of. Something that would explain what in the world is going on in Lebanon and what needs to be done about it.

Editor’s Note: Lebanon’s situation demands that the West listen with humility and firmly support the demands of the local population, which is displaying a greater degree of cohesion than that sought by their leaders, writes Javier Solana. This piece was originally published by Project Syndicate.

Click here to read the article by Brookings that answered my question,

“What’s the next big thing for Lebanon in 2020?”

E-learning update

2nd week of e-learning.
Grizz is sooo over it…

Oh and now I have a migraine because I feel like I’ve been in a classroom with 18 kids who all talk at the same time such that my son can’t even hear the teacher talking and when he answers, the teacher can’t even hear him.
I hope they start going to school  soon because I’m already battling with my son at mealtimes and bedtime and bath time. I can do without the extra stress.

That being said, I appreciate the effort the teachers and school are putting into preparing these classes and teaching them and dealing with the nerve wracking that comes with noisy 5 year olds while maintaining their calm.

May this pandemic end soon so I get my alone time back.

UPDATE: the internet disconnected every 5 minutes during one of his classes, and at the beginning of another class and so we missed an entire class because there was no internet. So welcome to Lebanon 🇱🇧

Can you tell I’m in my best mood today? Can you tell I’m having such a great day? Even memes didn’t help, so now I decided to just lie down and count the minutes until dinner time while my son keeps calling me and I’m just like NOPE

Current mood

Are you doing e-learning?

How’s it going?

Hopefully better than my case.

What I think of e-learning for kids under 7

So…online learning. How’s it going for you? Honestly, for me, it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. It’s not great either. I don’t see it working on the long run, but rather a bridge to fill the gap between last year and how much school the kids had to miss and it’s impact on them, and between this year and the fear of COVID-19 and the alternative of kids not learning at all and the sociological effect it would have on them if they stayed home without learning.

Some parents already homeschool their kids. This blog is for the parents who had their kids going to school, and suddenly have them at home for 6 months ➕ and no matter how hard they try, they’re not able to create a good routine and structure in these children’s lives.

School provides structure, for both the children and the parents. I used to organize my housework, reading, naps, socializing, etc, all in the 6 hour time slot I had when my son was at school. I will never take those 6 hours for granted again.

However, I do understand that due to COVID-19, schools can’t resume business as usual. So what is the solution? Resume schools half-time so they can be able to do social distancing? Or move school online to avoid risks of spreading COVID-19 further?

The school my son goes to decided on the latter, But they said that they will try the former in the future. I don’t know what to expect. All I know is that online learning for kids makes it hard for them to concentrate and it makes parents feel tied up because they must stay next to their child who is unable to sit at a computer alone (I’m talking about kids under 7). Even kids who are older. How can you know for sure that they’re really doing their online learning and not watching YouTube videos instead?

Then you have in Lebanon specifically the power outages and the fact that not every home has laptops and computers and such.

In conclusion, as I stated earlier, I believe that online learning is a good idea to use as a bridge to close the gap between last year and this year and to buy scientists time to find a vaccine because once kids go back to school full time, there will be an increase in the number of COVID-19 cases, and it’s best to be prepared.

Be the light in someone’s darkness

Did you ever think yourself into a headache?

I did. Today. I was freaking out about my 5 year old starting online learning in 2 days, and then I spoke to a friend of mine and her optimism calmed me down.

I feel very fortunate to have friends like that. When I’m feeling down, I have someone to lift me up. When I’m feeling insecure, I have someone to reassure me. When I’m freaking out, I have someone to calm me down.

It got me thinking 💭

It means a lot to me that I have people like this, and that is the message I try to deliver in my blogs and books 📚

I want to be that person to someone. I want to be the light in someone’s darkness. I want to lift people up when they’re down, reassure them when they’re insecure, and calm them down when they’re freaking out.

I know everyone is fighting their own demons. God knows I have so many demons, but I’m okay with being vulnerable about the things that bother me and drive me crazy and make me sad. Some people are not okay with being vulnerable. They cover up their wounds with bandaids and try not to think about it. They suffer in silence and don’t want to “bother” anyone with their problems.

It’s these people I’m targeting in my blogs and books. The ones who are too scared to open up, or don’t know how to express their feelings eloquently. What I want out of this blog and my books is for someone to read my words and relate to them.

You know the feeling when you listen to a song and you feel like the person who wrote it has written it just for you? That is my goal.

I don’t feel like I’ve reached success in my blogs and with my books, because success is a moving target 🎯

I feel like the more views my blogs get, the more I’ll want, because I want the biggest number of people possible to read my blogs and benefit from them. With my books, eventually I want to be a best-selling author, but I know my current books are not best-selling material. My goal is for now for these books to be good enough material.

I still am worried about how I’m going to market my books because I feel like I’m grasping in the dark for ideas, but for now, let’s focus on getting through the 1st day of online learning.

Random acts of kindness

Are you a kind person?

Do you engage in random acts of kindness?

I honestly don’t think I’m considered a kind person. I used to be a people pleaser, a helper, a nice person, until I realized many people were using me because I was like this and so I went in the complete opposite direction.

I don’t kick animals and yell at strangers. I’m not unkind. But you know those people who are always smiling, always ready to lend a helping hand, always volunteering their time, money and energy to worthy causes? I’m not one of those either. I aspire to be. I think the world needs more of those.

However, I do feel like I’m kind with my words (my written words anyway). As much as I can say really mean things when I’m angry, I can be very motivating, understanding and inspiring with my words. I have people in my life who are kind with their words to me. They’re very few, but I’m glad I have them in my life, and so I try to be that friend. In my words, I try to motivate and encourage because I do believe that words matter and that puttibg someone down for a mistake they made will only make them worse. I’ve experienced being put down and seeing other people put down and at times I may have put my son down but apologized for it later. Words are powerful and they have an impact. You have an impact!

That’s why I’m encouraging myself and you to engage in more acts of kindness. I don’t count my words to be an act of kindness. I count them as the way I’m supposed to be and talk. I’m talking about the extra acts of kindness (to other people that may be normal things they do but to me I actually have to put an effort or remember to do them). The reason is because I’ve been used so much, I’ve become a bit calculating. I don’t get people presents anymore, unless they got me a present 1st. I should get people more presents. Anyway, in this economic crisis, my focus is on acts of kindness that don’t cost much.

There are so many ideas, from picking up litter to doing someone a favor without expecting a favor in return. I maybe do these things. I know my sister does them. I know for a fact my older sister is kinder than I am.

But I also know that being kind with your words is an act of kindness, one that doesn’t cost anything. No time, no money, just positive energy, and it makes you feel good. So send someone a meme, a gif, a text. Tell them they’re amazing and that you wish they have a great day. Send more good morning and good night texts.

We all have problems and things we struggle with. Check in on eachother. Wish eachother well. Be kind to one another.

In this economic crisis and pandemic where staying at home is impacting everyone mentally and the uncertainty of the world is making everyone feel hopeless, encourage one another. We will make it to the other side stronger, one act of kindness at a time.

Did you do an act of kindness today?