How to protect your energy

If it costs you your peace, then it’s expensive.

With everything becoming more and more expensive in Lebanon, I’m doing a different kind of saving. I’m saving my energy, and I’m avoiding spending my time and energy on things and people that drain me or kill my vibe.

I’m also avoiding talking to people when my vibe is low so that I don’t affect anyone negatively. I’m trying not to vent or complain.

I’m working on being mindful. My diet and sleeping habits are a work in progress, and exercise is so so at the moment, but I’m trying. I’m avoiding the news, but not completely. I’m learning to listen more and talk less.

My patience still needs some calibration but using my energy on things like monopoly with my son and eating ice cream and reading and writing.

I’m not naive. I know the situation in Lebanon is really bad, and I am affected by it, but what use is it to panic or mope? The body reacts to stress in fight or flight, but it’s possible to protect your energy and not let the stress of your environment get to you as much.

How to protect your energy:

Inspo from Pinterest by The Elevated Life

1. Cut down on social media use:

Facebook and Instagram can be addicting. You can go on for a minute and end up scrolling for hours. That’s a lot of time wasted when you could be doing something productive or spending time with your family. What’s worse is seeing other people doing things you wish you could do but can’t, like when I see other people traveling and hiking and going out without kids, I feel a pang in my chest sometimes. To protect yourself, don’t go on social media when you are feeling discontent or vulnerable.

2. Set healthy boundaries:

Our loved ones are the most people who push our boundaries. They invade our space, offer unsolicited advice, and feel entitled to control our decisions, all in the name of love. It’s tricky dealing with people who operate under “if you love me, you’ll do as I say”. It’s important to set boundaries without cutting ties with your loved ones. I can’t exactly tell you how to do that because I’m still working on it, but being assertive, kind and persistent are key. If you let a loved one cross a boundary once, they will do it all the time.

3. Practice self-care:

I have multiple blog posts on this topic. There are so many ways in which you can practice self-care. Some examples are taking a nap when you need it, going out for a walk, and talking to a loved one.

4. Meditate:

This is something I have tried but have not managed to master. For the time being, I’m not meditating, but given my elevated stress levels and my resting heart rate being 86 to 92, a meditation session may be overdue. I have recently downloaded an app that mimics nature sounds for a scheduled time to help me sleep. It helps and is one form of meditation. Other forms of meditation include but are not limited to focused breathing, body scanning, and yoga.

5. Spend time in nature:

I recently went to the beach and it is so relaxing, minus having to supervise my son and make sure he didn’t drown. There is something magical about waves and how they manage to wash my worries away. The horizon is so far away, it makes me feel like possibilities are infinite, that everything is possible and no problem is too big. Trees are another story. The rustling of leaves against the wind are music to my ears.

I tried to share the audio that I’m currently listening to but I wasn’t able to. It’s a mixture of birds chirping, leaves rustling, and a waterfall. Imagine that! How calm and serene.

Teaching my son about boundaries

This is really a tough topic to write about for me, because I myself react to my boundaries being crossed by crying or anger (after holding it in, trying to let it go, bringing it up at the wrong time or in the wrong way, getting pushback, then exploding). I’m trying to learn and teach my son how to respond to boundaries in a healthy way.

So far I told him:

When someone says or does something that makes you uncomfortable, that is your boundary. Many people will cross your boundaries in life, now and when you grow up, and I want you to learn to react to your boundaries being crossed in a healthy way. Crying and yelling are unhealthy ways of reacting.

I wasn’t able to continue because my son got bored and distracted, but whenever I have the chance to continue, I’ll say:

What to do when someone crosses your boundaries:

  1. You can assertively tell the person who crossed your boundary that they made you feel uncomfortable and ask them to stop.
  2. You can choose to minimize interacting with this person (be it your parent, relative, friend) until they change their behavior.
  3. You can accept the person’s behavior if you see no hope in them changing or respecting your boundaries and you really want to spend time with them

I downloaded an ebook called “How to say no”. It’s about boundaries.

I’m yet to read it because I’m currently reading “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” and I’m benefitting from it greatly. I even paused reading “The 7 habits of highly effective people” this month to focus on it.

I hope I’m able to implement what I read. I hope I’m able to take the good in books and keep learning and improving. I don’t want to be stuck in learning phase. I want to feel like my thoughts are actually changing. I want my mindset to become a joyful one. I want to be able to speak my mind assertively and know what to say and when to say it and how to say it.

I want to be able to let things go. I have this fear of being treated as a doormat that I become aggressive when a boundary is crossed. People will often gaslight me when I set and try to protect my boundaries. I just hope that my son grows up to be someone who respects other people’s boundaries and sets his own boundaries assertively.

How do you react when someone crosses your boundaries?

I’m trying my best to be a good mom. I fail and win many times in the same day. I’m just trying to give my son a childhood he doesn’t have to recover from. If you liked this post, please click like, comment and share with your friends and family.

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I started my self improvement journey when I became a mom. I realized that in order to be a good mom, I must work on myself. I must get to know myself and work on everything. Sometimes I overwhelm myself with self help books and working on too many things at once, but I hope I’m changing for the better. I’m definitely not the same person I was 5 years ago.

Click here for more posts on self improvement.

If you have any parenting or self improvement tips for me that have worked for you, fire away. If there are specific topics you want me to discuss or any questions you have for me, I’m all ears (technically I’m all eyes because I’m going to read your comments not hear them lol)