Self-care checklist

Hello and welcome to my blog! This is my last self-care post because I’ve been really burnt out lately and as much as writing helps me, 7 blogs a week of specific themes overwhelmed me a bit and my brain was so tired that I found myself watching 3 episodes a day as opposed to my usual 1. I realized I had to drop 1 or 2 posts, so I looked at the stats in the past 3 weeks (I’ve been following this schedule for 3 weeks) and I realized that the least viewed days were Wednesday and Saturday. I don’t know if it’s because on these days you’re busy or because it’s your least favorite type of blog. My Wednesday Wisdom and self-care Saturday blogs are my researched blogs, and they actually take me the most time to write but need the least creativity because I basically research them. Anyway, they’re out now and I’ll be talking from the heart 💯 from now on, including in this blog post (not researched).

Hopefully this lightening of my mental load will spark my creativity further and I’ll be able to inspire and motivate you like I want to. Honestly, sometimes I think of closing the blog altogether. My son thinks my blog is not important but he’s 6 years old so what does he know. This blog is important to me. It makes me happy. You make me happy. I feel so lonely between 4 walls and hardly communicating with anyone face to face besides my husband and son. This pandemic is isolating…

Every once in a while, I fear I’m oversharing. A few days ago, I saw a post that scared me.

I wish I was a private person sometimes. Maybe I am, in some ways. I don’t share everything. Anyway, today I’m doing a self-care check. I actually printed this out so I could fill it out. I should have made many copies so I could fill it out daily. Maybe I’ll even make my own self-care checklist one day.

Today I ate lunch, drank water, slept well last night, went outside and walked (I didn’t exercise today though).

I also practiced gratitude (the 21 days challenge) and meditation (I tried. It’s not really working for me honestly).

I connected with my family and avoided going on Facebook today (the challenge of the day in the social media detox challenge) and I didn’t watch anything on my laptop because I finished season 4 of This is us and Gilmore girls. I also checked in with my self. My mood went up and down today but on the whole it’s been a good day. Not a great day but it was alright. I yelled a bit but there were good moments as well.

I hope you enjoyed this post. Please like, comment and share.

I felt my biggest fear materialize

A friend of mine asked me yesterday “how is not venting going?” and at 1st I thought to myself “I don’t know” but then I started realizing that it’s not going well.

With not venting, my loved ones have no idea what’s on my mind, and then when I get mad at them for not being considerate, I realize that they have no idea what I’m going through because I didn’t say. This is besides the fact that I’m not sleeping well, I have migraines all day, I’m edgy all the time. My ears are ringing, I started getting pain in my legs and my back, my shoulders are tense, I’m spending 7 to 9 hours on my phone a day, and the negative thoughts swimming in my brain are not being challenged because they’re not being vocalized.

I feel more communication problems arise, more resentment and exhaustion. And as my exhaustion increases, I feel that my presence is not that important anymore. I can imagine them fine without me, and it terrifies me because I don’t feel irreplaceable anymore.

I try to vocalize my fears but I don’t see any willingness to listen. Why would they subject themselves to my negative thoughts again? They have been freed of this burden. They have peace of mind, while my thoughts eat at my mind and body and suck the energy from my soul.

I was supposed to write a blog about Aya Sofia today, but my migraine has got me keeping my phone at a distance, so it’ll have to wait until tomorrow.

I just wanted to write that I will go back to venting because it is how I process my emotions. Sometimes I will vent to my husband, like I did just now and he reassured that I am not replaceable. Sometimes I will vent to a close friend, or to my sister like I did on Saturday. Sometimes I will vent on the blog. Sometimes I will vent through poetry. It depends on my mood, energy levels and what I’m venting about.

I think it’s safe to say we are all struggling with our mental health in these circumstances, and I want you know you are not alone. If you need to vent, I am here. If you need validation or advice, please let me know. Any blog topics you would like me to discuss, let me know in the comments.