I finally finished the No Junk Food Challenge

Hello and welcome to my blog! If you know me by now, you know I have a sweet tooth. I started this challenge a few days before Ramadan because I noticed I had become addicted to sugar, and what better way to reset my diet than dueing the month when I can’t snack during the day?!

It was hard, I tell you. It took me 30 days to do this 21 day challenge, and there is still one of the challenges that I wasn’t able to do (read along to find out which one).

The 21 day no junk food challenge:

Day 1

Try to include more vegetables in your meals today (I’m starting soft with you).

I ate tomatoes and lettuce with my burger today. I also didn’t eat any packaged junk food or cake or bagels.

Day 2

No chocolate today (and eat some nuts to have energy!)

I had no chocolate, not even chocolate spread. I had 1 piece of almond tart with apricot jam on top, but otherwise, no sweets.

Day 3

No white bread (you can eat whole grain bread but only one! Don’t abuse!)

I had some chocolate cake in the morning with my coffee. Then a few hours later, I had half a chocolate spread sandwich of oat bread. Later on in the afternoon, I had 1 oat bread sandwich of chocolate spread. In the evening, I had some plain cookies and then an orange.

Day 4

No cookies or cake (replace with fruit, it’s so much better, am I right?)

I had peanut butter and chocolate spread toast for suhour (I found that when I can’t have 1 junk food, I replace it with another) and some oat bread with labne and low fat cheese. I also had some cucumber and tomato. I drank tea instead of coffee. After iftar, I had barazi which I hope don’t count as cookies.

Day 5

No pasta (remember to not eat spaghetti to forgetti your regretti).

This was so hard but I did it. I read no pasta and all I could think about was pasta. Spagetti. Fettuccine. Noodles.

Day 6

No alcohol (just water!)

Haha no problem. I don’t drink anyway because it’s prohibited in Islam. Besides, even if it wasn’t, I don’t find the idea of intoxication appealing.

Day 7

No potato chips (only apple or kale chips).

I rarely eat chips, but as soon as I read no chips, I remembered I have a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips, which I don’t even like, and suddenly I want it. Healthy eating is hard, but I can do this!

Day 8

No soda (water will be your best friend for today!)

I rarely ever drink soda anyway, so hopefully that won’t be a problem. I like how each day of this challenge focuses on one aspect of junk food at a time. I’m still eating oatmeal bread and drinking water. I only ate chocolate once in the past 4 days.

Day 9

No fast food (you can always make a healthy burguer at home).

No problem. I used to indulge in a burger every month or two, then the prices started going up. The meal at McDonald’s that used to cost 8,000LL now costs 29,000LL so no thank you. Last time I bought a burger meal was 6 months ago and it costed 21,000LL. Last time I had homemade burgers fried without oil in a Teflon pan was a week ago at my mom’s. They don’t even eat french fries. Just tomato, lettuce and ketchup with the burger.

Day 10

No processed meat (eat more fish or try vegetarian).

I ate chicken. That’s not processed, right?

Day 11

Try to go vegan all day (it’s easier than it said no, you don’t need to eat only lettuce all day).

I had a few no meat days during this challenge but on this particular day, I ate meat.

Day 12

No candy (eat some dates, it’s a natural candy).

Done. I actually went several days without candy.

Day 13

Replace potatoes with sweet potatoes (and believe me, they are sooo nice).

I just simply didn’t eat potatoes (I don’t like sweet potatoes).

Day 14

Drink 2L of water today.

I drank 1 L everyday for a week (I have a problem where I don’t drink enough water but I’m trying).

Day 15

No refined sugars.

Sorry, no can do. End of discussion. I can’t drink my tea or coffee without sugar (I replaced my coffee for tea for half of Ramadan by the way).

Day 16

No dairy today (goodbye acne).

I think there were 1 day where I didn’t have any dairy.

Day 17

Eat a lot of fruit (it’s delicious and the best natural sugar).

Define a lot of fruit? I don’t eat fruit everyday. I may go for weeks without a single fruit. So I ate some fruit a few days in a row.

Day 18

Eat more green foods (broccoli will be your friend today).

I had cucumbers today (May 18th), but I actually did eat salad several days during this challenge so I’m counting it as a win.

Day 19

Oatmeal for breakfast (it’s delicious and keeps you satisfied for hours).

I had oatmeal for suhour a few days before and a few days after.

Day 20

No meat today (it’s a great opportunity to try vegetarian food).

I had a veggie pizza for iftar with indomi noodles.

Day 21

Congratulations! You’ve passed the challenge (or I hope so). As reward you can eat a small piece of dark chocolate!

I didn’t reward myself with anything because I still had 5 undone days, 4 of which I planned to do later and now I’m done!

To do this challenge, go to: https://21dayschallengeapp.com/app/challenge

End result: This challenge didn’t curb my sugar cravings, but it did help me decrease my junk food intake to a certain extent, and I lost 6 pounds in the process!

Will you try this challenge?

Storytime: Why my writing is suffering

I slept at midnight last night.

Woke up at 2 am because it was the 27th night of Ramadan.

Such a special night!

It’s 7 am now and I still can’t sleep…

Been tossing and turning in bed from 4 to 6:30 (while oscillating between reading blogs and scrolling instagram).

Then got up and exercised.

Me: works out for 7 minutes… I feel like a fitness guru now.

Now I sit with no electricity (welcome to Lebanon).

I was going to sit at my laptop and either watch a movie (I watched one yesterday too. I know, I’m deviating from my goal of no tv) or work on my writing but my laptop battery doesn’t last for more than 10 minutes unless charging.

Speaking of writing, I look at the blogs I posted the past week and I feel like they were written half-heartedly. Then I see my views dropped this week and I guess you felt it too.

Here’s the thing. I’m not being lazy. It may seem like it but I’m not. I’m physically and emotionally drained and my thoughts are all negative. You don’t want to know what thoughts are on a loop in my head. Trust me.

As part of my plan to not complain, I’m trying not to talk too much, because it comes out as complaining, comdemning, and criticizing. The 3 Cs that ruin every relationship.

How am I doing?

1st of all, nobody cares. Everybody is wrapped up in their own issues to care about how I’m doing.

2nd of all, I will tell you anyway because that is how I am, always desperate to talk about how I feel because it’s how I process things.

Physically, my stomach hurts and it’s bloated, my foot has been hurting for 2 months (considering seeing a doctor to try to fix it but sadly it’s not up to me). I woke up sick yesterday. Not sure if it’s an allergy or a cold (I can never tell). I have no energy during the day but I can’t sleep after dawn sometimes. On the bright side, my migraines are less frequent and I can still walk and talk and do light housework and read and write and hear and see (my efforts to focus on my blessings).

Emotionally, I feel very lonely. My friends aren’t texting me back. I can’t hang out with anyone for various reasons. My husband is emotionally distant because he is overwhelmed about the situation in Lebanon. I’m also overwhelmed about the situation in Lebanon and other countries like Palestine but my reaction is I need more hugs and reassurrance and focus on my pockets of happiness (for example, the weather is good, even though I’m not going outside, and I had coffee for suhour).

Spiritually I was feeling good-ish because I was crushing my goals but I could do better in other areas. Ever since I did a self assessment tracker a few days ago, I lost momentum.

Mentally, I’m reading a lot but not retaining much. My brain is fried because I’m tired. I’m writing but it’s not my best work because I’m tired and I don’t want to be negative. Negative thoughts on a loop. Or I go numb and dissociate. Pockets of happiness that don’t last long enough. Focusing on what I don’t have, like a job and a car and a 2nd child and the ability to go on field trips and travel to different countries. Then I remember the number of people who don’t have enough food to eat and I feel guilty for wanting those things. I have food, shelter, clothes, and so much more. Some people in Lebanon have to go to 6 different organizations to provide them with basic necessities.

Let me try to be more optimistic. Talk about the good stuff. My son is my sunshine. He really is making me smile, even when he frustrates me. His smile lights up my world. His questions blow my mind. He still gets piggy back rides from me and he loves them. His hugs are healing. He is so cute and adorable and I love his personality. I see in him his dad’s confidence and my insecurities meshed in one. We have been slacking on positive affirmations but I’m sure to let him know that he makes me happy every chance I got. I don’t play with him enough, especially during Ramadan because I’m so tired, but he has become so emotionally mature that he literally tells me “I want to spend time with you” and when he says that, I do, even if I’m tired.

Like yesterday, I had to take 2 naps. He kept waking me up because he couldn’t fall asleep. Then eventually I told him to set up Ludo (his new favorite board game) so we can play. He won.

I’ve been going on instagram a lot but not posting much (sharing stories doesn’t count). I no longer feel the need to post everything I do or to make each picture I take instagram worthy. I take pictures and videos for memories.

I wish I could take my son places and give him experiences but my husband has a very sheltered mindset. He won’t even take us for a picnic. He is 💯 a homebody and me and my son are suffering because of that. With everything going on, I need to go out and breathe (with my mask on and not in a crowded area obviously).

Anyway, I’ll stop here to avoid going down a rabbit hole of self pity. It’s a sore topic, going out. So simple and basic like eating and drinking to some people, but for me, I must beg for months to be able to go to the seaside (which is literally 5 minutes by car away from my house) for 5 minutes.

Think of the people who have no food to eat, I keep reminding myself. I hope one day I get to go out more. I’m trying to manifest that in my life, whether by a miracle of my husband letting me drive (I have a license but little practice), or if my family start going out again and my dad takes me.

I normally avoid going into personal details but I’m explaining myself (which is also something I’m trying not to do) as to why my writing isn’t up to my standards lately.

Also, are you enjoying the daily reminder? Or should I make it a weekly reminder and put several reminders in 1 post? Your feedback is very much needed and appreciated.

Finally, the Ramadan series are on pause because, although I’m still watching animated islamic YouTube videos, I’m not getting inspired to put a spin on them.

If you have any questions or suggestions for me, please share them in the comments.

Different types of self care

Hello 👋 reader and welcome to my blog! Today I’m going to talk about the different types of self-care. It’s not all face masks and bubble baths. Sometimes it’s a nap or a walk or a piece of cake.

Self-care is important to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself as it produces positive feelings and boosts your confidence and self-esteem.

Self-neglect is a behavioral condition in which an individual neglects to attend to their basic needs, such as personal hygiene, appropriate clothing, feeding, or tending appropriately to any medical conditions they have.

Self-neglect can lead to all sorts of health problems, from anxiety and depression to insomnia and heart diseases.

Sometimes it’s hard to self-care simply because caring for yourself necessitates deconstructing bad habits and self destructive behavior.

Below are several examples of how you can nurture yourself and make self-care a part of your everyday life in the four areas of self-care: physical, emotional, spiritual and mental.

Physical self-care

  • Drink some water first thing in the morning. Water is important for your health in so many ways.
  • Make a menu for the week. Meal planning saves you a lot of time and energy, and helps you eat healthier.
  • Practice yoga. Stretching your body and focusing on your breathing is both relaxing and strengthens your body.
  • Have a mini dance party. Dancing relieves stress and burns calories.
  • Take a quick nap or go to bed early. Sleep is very important for normal function of your body.
  • Take a hot bath or shower. Hygiene is important for your health and helps boost your mood.
  • Give yourself a spa night with one of those face masks. Besides nourishing your skin, it’s also relaxing.
  • Go for a walk somewhere and connect with nature. Walking exercises the whole body, and the connection with nature is an added emotional benefit.
  • Try an at-home workout. Exercise increases your energy and improves the heart function and decreases your risk of getting several diseases.
  • Eat well. Eating healthy foods keeps your body healthy and energized.

Emotional self-care

  • Write down five things every day that didn’t totally suck
  • Take a new route to work.
  • Binge watch Netflix or silly YouTube videos (without also checking emails and social media on your phone, or working on your laptop)
  • Sit in a coffee shop and do some people watching.
  • Go to your local flower market and grab a bright bunch of flowers to make you smile.
  • Give yourself a pedicure or a manicure.
  • Sit on the front porch or balcony.
  • Create your emergency self-care box.
  • Keep in touch. Staying in touch with family and friends gives you a sense of belonging and elevates your mood.

Spiritual self-care

  • Pray.
  • Give charity.
  • Volunteer.
  • Do an act of kindness everyday.
  • Practice gratitude.
  • Practice forgiveness.

Mental self-care

  • Set aside some time to read a new (or old favourite) book.
  • Take 5 minutes to decompress every day.
  • Enroll in a self-development class.
  • Try meditation.
  • Listen to your favorite podcast.
  • Respond to a therapeutic worksheet.
  • Talk about your feelings. Talking about your feelings can help you stay in good mental health and deal with times when you feel troubled.
  • Do something you’re good at. Sharpening your skills not only boosts your self-confidence but also exercises your brain.
  • Take a break. When you feel tired or overwhelmed, stop, do something else like if you’re physically tired, do a mental exercise, or if you’re mentally tired, do a physical activity.
  • Ask for help. If all fails or you’re not finding the time or energy for self-care, ask someone for help.

I hope these tips helped.

What type of self care do you need now?

Yoga 🧘‍♂️ in session

I’ve talked about yoga a while ago, and it is something that I haven’t done in a while.

Recently, though, I’ve been doing yoga instead of those very light workouts, and it has really helped me. I just finished a yoga workout and I had to share my experience.

It may have a temporary effect, but it’s totally worth it. I feel like when I’m doing yoga, I get this momentary peace where I can feel my muscles relax (something my muscles rarely do).

Motherhood has turned me into a very neurotic person, but when I’m doing yoga (like really doing yoga not attempting to do yoga while I yell at my 5 year old to leave me alone) I feel so peaceful.

For 7 minutes, I’m not thinking about my to do list, or my problems, or worries. I’m just stretching my muscles.

I don’t do those crazy yoga poses either. I have bad knees and a bad left foot, so my movements are limited. These are totally doable moves and they are so relaxing. It’s basically stretching.

I use the application I mentioned in my previous yoga blog. Click here to read it.

I even downloaded another yoga app for my 5 year old so he doesn’t feel left out.

So yeah, do yoga.

Start feeling zen, even if it’s just for 7 minutes a day. You deserve a break from social media and the craziness in the world.

Healthy tips for a more productive energetic you

Tip #1

Drink a glass of water as soon as you wake up. Yes, BEFORE coffee. If you feel thirsty when you 1st wake up, then you’re already dehydrqted. Drink up!

Tip #2

Take your meds. If you have any medications or vitamins you must take regularly, don’t slack on them. There are certain heqlth condutions that will go out of control if you don’t take your medications properly.

Tip #3

Exercise in the morning, before breakfast. A light to moderate excercise gets your blood flowing and makes you more energetic. You feel too lazy or tired to do it, but try eating a banana or a few dates with your tea or coffee, then get moving. Listen to music or a podcast while you exercise if you’re not really feeling it.

Tip #4

Eat a healthy breakfast. A breakfast rich in carbs will give you energy for up to 2 hours, and then you will crash and burn. Try to integrate protein and fiber into your diet. Example of a healthy breakfast: eggs with cucumber and tomato.

Tip #5

Don’t scroll social media for the 1st hour after you wake up. It’s okay to go on your phone to read or do something productive, but one thing I’m working on is to not scroll on instagram at night or early morning.

What are your healthy tips to be more productive and energetic?

What I am working on

I came across this on instagram, and it got me thinking. I often make to do lists, and this year i decided to make monthly goals instead of yearly goals. Things that i can track my progress in. For example: exercise daily for 5 minutes at least. If i do it, i tick ☑️ and if I don’t, I tick ❎

There are some goals however, that can’t be measured. In a previous blog https://stayathomemom495.wordpress.com/2019/12/27/my-main-goal-for-2020/, I talked about how my New Years Resolution was to live more wholeheartedly, and i explained that instead of being a S. M. A. R. T. Goal like exercising daily, it was a H. E. A. R. T. Goal. So i decided to write down the things i’m working on, in terms of what i’m trying to do less of. It’s not exactly measurable, but i need to be conscious when I am doing these things in order to minimize them.

So here it goes…

What I am working on (trying to do less of) :

  • My temper:
  • I have always been a hot head. I may not seem that way if you just met me. I may seem shy, calm and collected, but there is a volcano 🌋 brewing underneath. I get irritated/angered very easily, and some people take advantage of that and make it their goal to get me to explode. My goal is to get to the point where I am no longer phased when people try to get under my skin. It may take years of practice, and I don’t have a clear idea of how to get there, but i have to keep reminding myself that their behavior says everything about them and nothing about me and that reacting with anger will not stop their behavior but rather will make them feel like they succeeded in controlling my feelings.
  • My fear of failure:
  • Everybody is afraid of failure to a certain extent. Nobody wants to experience the downside of failure but everyone wants to reap the benefits of success. Success and failure both have pros and cons. With success, comes a new set of responsibilities, and some people fear success. But failure is an important step on the way to success, because if you don’t fail, you won’t know what NOT to do. For me, my fear of failure is debilitating sometimes. I’d like to blame it on my anxiety, but i’m not sure anxiety is 💯 the one to blame. I fear failure and loss and rejection to the extent that many times I won’t even try. I stay in my comfort zone because it is familiar. I go back to old habits because they feel safe. So my goal is to keep going despite my fear, and maybe along the way, my fear will disappear.
  • Stress/bored eating:
  • When i am hungry, i don’t eat much. However, everytime i am upset about a certain situation i’m in or a certain someone who got on my nerves, my mind immediately craves sugar, junk food, carbs, and i get this urge that doesn’t go away until i eat said craved foods. The problem is, after eating them, i get bloated and have a sugar rush and i feel horrible. Filled with regret, i promise not to stress eat, until i do it again. My goal is to reach for a fruit when i really want a chocolate bar. I did that last night. I felt i really needed chocolate and instead, i ate an apple and 2 tangerines and not only because i had already eaten my stash of chocolate and my sons as well (we still have chocolate in the freezer) but because i exercised will power. So my goal is to do what i did last night more often.
  • Laziness to exercise:
  • It’s too cold. I have housework. I’m too tired. My son is home and will climb on me if i exercise now. I don’t feel like it. I don’t want to sweat. It’s too hot. I’m too busy. All these are excuses. I know if i organize my time wisely, i will be able to squeeze time for exercise everyday, and not just for 5 minutes, but for 20 minutes. It’s just that i don’t like to exercise alone and it’s too cold to walk to the gym (see? Another excuse). Now that i recognize my excuses, my next goal is to ignore them and exercise anyway.
  • Being on my phone too much:
  • Last year, i downloaded an application that tracked my phone usage. I was on my phone for 6 hours a day on average. I tried to minimize my phone time and i was able to get down to 3 or 4 hours a day, which is still a lot. This year, what with reading blogs and writing blogs, and doing God knows what (well mainly instagram and youtube) i still spend an average of 6 hours on my phone a day. I do challenges on my phone to decrease the usuage of certain applications, but i end up using other applications more out of boredom. So my goal is to put my phone away everytime i feel i’m wasting my time on it.
  • Forgetting basic hygiene:
  • I used to be very keen on showering, brushing my teeth and brushing my hair everyday. It’s true what they say, that when you become a mother, showering becomes a luxury. Some moms don’t mind showering while their kids bang on the door, but i like peace and quiet while i shower and my son cries if i even go to the bathroom so I usually wait for him to sleep but by the time he is asleep, i’m too tired to shower anymore. So my goal is to shower/brush my hair/brush my teeth more, even if i have a kid stuck to me like velcro.
  • Being social ONLY on social media:
  • There are people I know who barely touch their phones. My cousin checks her social media once in the morning and once at night. It used to irritate me when someones doesn’t reply to my texts immediately, until I started getting busy and i realized that more life equals less phone. People who are actually going and interacting with humans in real life don’t feel the need to reach out via whatsapp or instagram. Only reaching out to people via whatsapp rather than irl is something i’ve been doing more of lately. Even my blogs have become a means of communication. A friend of mine once asked me “How have you been?” and i simply replied “Read my blogs and you’ll find out”. My blogs are not supposed to be a diary. They are meant as a tool to motivate and inspire. So i definitely need to go out more and interact with people face to face rather than through texts.
  • Getting hung up on the past:
  • Depressing myself by remembering past events and reliving them over and over again is not a hobby of mine, but it is something i do often. I’d like to blame it on depression, but I don’t know why this happens to me. I’d be chilling and having a good time and suddenly I remember something that bothers me in the present (an unresolved problem that i am unable to change or fix) and before i know it, i’m in a blackhole of bad memories from 4 years ago that are not even related to my current issue but are somehow connected and i feel all the negative feelings of that event again and i feel so hopeless and miserable and i can even imagine a future argument i’m going to have about this event that happened 4 years ago (i’m not kidding, this literally happened to me yesterday).
  • Trying to control everything:
  • I try to control how my day goes and what i do when and it’s not because i’m a control freak. I mean, when i do housework, i do it my way and if my son wants to help, he must do it my way too, and i like to play board games by the rules and i don’t like it when my son is acting silly while we play monopoly, but that is normal, right? Right? The reason why I am so meticulous about the details is because i am unable to control anything in my life. The whole course of my life is beyond my control. Does that make any sense? Well, if you know, you know.
  • Overthinking everything:
  • When he said x, did he mean y? When she looked to the right,was she lying? When they asked me this question, were they asking because they care or were they just prying into my life? Stooooopppp. I swear I run my brain into overdrive from overthinking every word and gesture. Most of my blog posts are written at night while i’m in bed trying to sleep (like right now) because my brain goes a mile a minute and the only way to quiet the noise is to write things down and try to organize my thoughts and determine which ones are rational and which belong in the trash. Obviously, if i do this less, i may end up with less blog posts but more sleep, so maybe i’ll write a blog about the benefits of sleep if i ever experience having enough sleep.

There are other things i am working on like self loathing, impulsiveness, being too serious, complaining too much and others, but i won’t elaborate because 10 is long enough of a list already.

What is/are something/s you are working on?

Anxiety attacks, a walk in the park, and donuts!

10am: The smell of freedom! The smell of fresh air! My God! It’s been so long since I have gone out for a walk and i finally gathered the courage to get dressed and tell my husband that I’m going out for a walk. I just can’t take it anymore! I feel like I’m in captivity! It’s just…my God! I feel bad for all those people that are in prison. They deserve a breath of fresh air. It is unbelievable! I’m a prisoner in my own house. Partly it is because of the weather and because I keep on getting sick but there is another more personal reason. I mean everyone else goes out when the weather is cold and even when they’re sick, except me! Anyway, enough ranting today.

I want to talk about the benefits of walking in nature because I’m going to the park, but on the way to the park I’m going to stop at the supermarket and get some snacks to give my son for school. Also, I’m starving because I only had a cookie for breakfast with my coffee. Also, the sky looks amazing! I want to take a picture but here’s the thing: I am testing which application I can live without the most and which application I can’t live without.

So first I did a no phone Challenge for 1-hour on my phone and I almost went insane because all the thoughts in my head just poured into my ears; all the negative thoughts; nothing positive. I ended up getting anxiety attacks knowing that they are just negative thoughts and still i was unable to control them. I don’t talk about my anxiety much because I feel like it sounds like a call for attention. It’s not! You have no idea what it’s like to live trapped inside your head unless you have anxiety or depression or another mental illness. Living inside your head is very difficult, it’s very overwhelming, and sometimes paralyzing. So it took a lot of effort just to get up and do the laundry and dishes.

I also currently have other challenges running: a camera fast, Instagram fast, youtube fast, whatsapp fast, and gallery fast. I put them all at the same time for 4 hours (except the whatsapp challenge is 2 hours) so let me see if I can last 4 hours without these 5 applications. I doubt it, but I will try my best. I’ll probably lose the camera challenge because I’m going to the park so I’m definitely getting pictures of all the greenery!

10:30am: Now that i’m done taking pictures and it looks like it’s about to rain, I’m going to start heading home. The trees were amazing. The sky with the trees were magical. I took amazing pictures. I definitely failed the camera challenge. I expected I would. I couldn’t see all this beautiful nature and not take pictures. I only got to see half the park and I wanted to see the other half but I don’t want it to rain on me because i don’t want to get sick. I’m not that adventurous today. So I’m just heading back home.
Let’s talk about anxiety.

The other day I saw a post on Instagram about things that make anxiety worse and i realised that I do all of them. Caffeine makes anxiety worse and I drink 2 cups of coffee a day. Lack of sleep makes anxiety worse and I don’t sleep well. I’m not really sure if my lack of sleep is the cause of my anxiety or the result of it or maybe both. Maybe it’s just a never ending cycle. I definitely have anxiety induced Insomnia because, for some reason, the moment it’s time to go to bed, my brain clicks and nearly goes into overdrive. That’s why I’m on my phone a lot. I’m on my phone to get out of my head but being on my phone gives me a different kind of anxiety so much so that when I’m without my phone I get really anxious. Another thing that makes anxiety worse is social media, so voila! It’s like the saying “damned if you do and damned if you don’t”.

Anyway, the walk in the park was really relaxing. It was really a good idea and I’ve been wanting to take a walk in the park for a very long time and I’m so glad that I was finally able to. I’m thinking of going shopping but I’m afraid it may rain so I’m not really sure if I should. I feel like if I don’t go I will regret it and I know that I’m probably not going to leave the house for the next 3 weeks anyway because of the weather. I’m going to take advantage of being away from all the internal noise and try to endure the external noise of the cars as much as I can. As long as there is no wind, I’m fine. I’m starving though. I want to go into a cafe and eat something but it would be awkward to sit alone and i’m afraid that if I go into a cafe that it’ll just suddenly start pouring.

I’m just going to go shopping because I really feel like buying my husband a sweater because last winter I bought him one and he liked it so I’m going to the same store and I’m buying him another shirt.

11am: I went shopping,but i didn’t find anything my husband would like. I didn’t even find anything WOW for me or my son.Ok looks like it’s stopped raining and the sun came up again because the sky is blue and the clouds are white again. I’m not trying to be a weather forecaster.

I won the whatsapp challenge, and reached my walking goal (6000steps).

I got some donuts in celebration. I’m trying to stay outside of the house as much as possible and i’m trying to soak it all in so that when I need it for later.

Also, there’s a dog nearby so I’m going to have to flee for my life because I’m terrified of dogs!

I won all the other challenges too. Yay! It feels good to win.

I tried drinking more water for a week!

I don’t like water. There! I said it. It’s tasteless and i don’t find it enjoyable to drink. I don’t drink juice either except rarely. I don’t drink soda or energy drinks. I’m a coffee and herbal tea person. If i were to count my liquids throughout the day, that would be 2 cups of coffee, 2 cups of herbal tea, and 1 cup of water.

However, i know that water is healthy. I know that drinking water is good for your skin and overall wellbeing. I know that when you feel thirsty, then you are already partially dehydrated. I don’t feel thirsty easily, and when i do, i’m unable to drink a whole cup of water in less than an hour interval.

So in the spirit of the New Year and new beginnings and goal renewing, i decided to download an application to remind me to drink water and to track my water consumption (just water, not coffee nor herbal drinks) for a week and this is what happenned:

Did i drink more water? Yes, but apparently not enough.

Did i feel more energized? No, but apparently, i was more active.

Did my skin improve? No, it’s still dry.
Maybe my body wasn’t meant to hold water in, because i let it all out and ended up thirsty half the time, despite drinking more water.
Maybe i’m not used to drinking water so i need to try this for a month at least before i notice a difference.

However, i learned certain tips on “how” to drink water.
One thing i know for sure, i’m not deleting the app, and i recommend you download it too if you are having trouble drinking water like me.

Drink Water Reminder: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.remind.drink.water.hourly

Aim for progress not perfection

I know this doesn’t register much for a lot of people, but in those rare moments when i feel proud of myself, i like to share.

This is the summary of my daily steps (excluding housework and workouts which i haven’t been doing much of anyway, except for today) during the month of November (last month) and comparison to the previous months.

I excercised for 20 minutes today as opposed to 5 minutes yesterday

I need feedback to feel encouraged. It’s really hard for me to motivate myself (im trying. I even read a book called 100 ways to motivate yourself) , and so when i do manage to do a small success, i like to put it out there, so i am further motivated to take bigger steps.

This summer, in August, i went to Turkey. While i was there, i was very physically active, obviously. This declined as i slipped back into depression (the depression that began in July) but thankfully, i am inching my way out of this depression bit by bit but i’m not completely out of it.

I found the source of my depression to be mainly sensitivity to criticism. Deep down, i don’t feel worthy unless the people around me tell me so. And in society, where everyone is so ready to point out your mistakes and give unsolicited advice, acting as if sucesses and wins and productivity are all NORMAL and not worthy of praise, it’s hard.

I wish i wasn’t so sensitive. I wish i wasn’t so demanding of TLC (tenderness, love and care) and i wish i gave myself the encouragement and motivation i instinctively give my family and friends (or do i?). I’m insecure about all my relationships and it shows. I think it makes others uncomfortable. It also makes me seem desperate for attention.

So there it is. My progress. I’m proud of myself. During the day, i tend to sulk in self-loathing several times. I recall an event that happened a week ago or a month ago, in which i was socially awkward, and i beat myself up over it. Or when i yell at my son, i torment myself feeling like the worst mom ever because i can’t keep my temper under control.

Lately, what i’ve been hating myself for the most, among other things, is overeating. I’m not even sure if it is due to stress, depression, boredom, or what?! I just know that when there is food, i see it, i want it. And when there isn’t, i’m thinking about it.
So instead of self loathing right now, i will pat myself on the back for walking more than last month and go from there. Maybe once i get moving more, i’ll automatically think of eating less. I hope so…

Do you walk/excercise daily?
Are you an emotional/bored eater?

Please share the ways in which you motivate yourself to exercise and eat healthy. If you’re struggling like i am, know that you are not alone and we can do this!