So, 2 more weeks until the end of December… The end of 2019…almost the end of this decade.
With 2020 coming up, i wanted to reflect on what i’ve learned this year, in 2019. I can’t go back 10 years and list what i’ve learned because that would take a lot of reflecting.
But if i think…where do i see myself in 10 years? Let me see… My son would be 15 years old. I can’t imagine what that would be like. I have no idea where i’ll be, if i would have another child as well or just my one. I don’t know if i’ll be working but definitely i have in mind to have published at least 1 book. I don’t know how to visualize myself in the future. I’m more of a nostalgic person who is always reminiscing about the past.
So…where were we? 2019
This year was something else! I have a selective subjective memory that i can’t rely on, and i’m always learning new things and unlearning fixed beliefs, but i do hope i learned the following lessons:
1. Nobody is perfect. Expecting perfection from someone ruins your relationship with them and expecting perfection from yourself leads to depression.
2. You can’t be happy all the time. My mood is always fluctuating. It’s hard to keep up with where i land on the spectrum of depressed to euphoric. However, when i stopped chasing happiness like a goal and treating sadness like a disease, i understood that it was ok to feel.
3. Nobody can survive alone. We are social beings, and isolation is very harmful to mental health, no matter how addicting solitude is. I used to get so bored alone, now it scares me how much i enjoy my own company.
4. Reading is therapeutic. So is writing. Enough said.
5. Don’t wait for the storm to calm down. Calm yourself, and the storm will pass. My best friend told me this, and i’ve been trying to apply it since. It’s easy to blame everything on our surroundings, but sometimes, our reactions worsen the problem.
6. Don’t underestimate the power of prayer. Make it your 1st solution, not your last resort.
7. Diet and exercise are not temporary solutions, but a lifelong pursuit. You will never eat healthy and exercise until you learn to substitute temporary pleasures for long term gains. I’m still not there yet.
8. Stop complaining. People feel uncomfortable when you complain and you will regret it after you calm down. I’m still trying to apply that one. Disclaimer: if you need help, by all means, ask for help. Reach out. But i meant the unproductive complaining that stems from a negative mindset.
9. Set healthy boundaries with your loved ones. They will fight you on it. Some will think you don’t love them anymore. Set the boundaries anyway, but try to express your love to them in ways that don’t give them a chance to intervene in your life.
10. Be kind, friendly, and optimistic. Don’t let the cynicism of the world get to you. The world needs more people like you. I don’t feel like i’m kind, friendly, or optimistic. But i’m trying to be, and i hope you are too.
11. Talk less…Listen more. I’m a very talkative person, and it gets me into a lot of trouble sometimes. I’m also very reactionary. So i noticed that when i train myself to listen, it helps me calm down and understand the other person better.
12. A good sense of humor goes a long way. I’m not talking about myself. I’m a very serious person. I don’t even laugh easily to a joke because i take everything literally. My son and husband, however, are very funny, and i feel they balance the scales a bit. Imagine we were all serious. That would be depressing. Also, whenever i’m having a bad day, i rely on memes to get me through.
That’s all i can think of for now.
Please share what you learned in 2019 in the comments section below.
I’d love to read your thoughts 💭
Thank you for reading, liking, and commenting.
Your engagement means the world to me and encourages me to keep writing.