Hello 👋 reader and welcome to my blog!
Welcome to another day of me complaining about my 1st world problems. I’m trying not to. Seriously, I’m trying my best but I have been exhausted for the past few days.
Life doesn’t always see eye to eye with a person’s plans. Sometimes you have to let go if you want to experience the true beauty life is willing to offer you.Ines Vieira, When Life Gets in the Way
Today has been better than before because I managed to get some me time after dawn and that helped me throughout the day but still I’m just exhausted.
I took my son to the supermarket but he didn’t really enjoy it. We did do some arts and crafts that we enjoyed but basically around meal times it was a struggle.
My son hasn’t been eating well lately and it’s really frustrating me. He has a small appetite so I don’t know what to do to get him to eat more. I’m trying so hard it got to the point where I’m threatening to punish him if he doesn’t eat and I know it’s wrong but I can’t handle the pressure anymore.
Anyway, I’m way behind on my writing goals and my social goals because this week I haven’t been ticking off ✅ my goal plans because I followed them for 3 weeks and then I decided to take a break for the fourth week because I was supposed to be planning for the future (next month and next year) but I still have half a mission statement to write and I started decorating my 2021 plannar today but it didn’t go as expected and I still need to write my 2021 goals.
I feel like I’m going all over the place and I feel very impatient to achieve all of my goals and very intolerant of other people, especially my loved ones and I feel very lonely and at the same time I can see people reaching out to me and I’m pushing them away and my son is getting very bored. When I’m not entertaining him, he just wants to watch on YouTube or he bugs me until I snap.
I get it. I mean, I’m exhausted and I just want to watch on my laptop too, but I can’t let him watch cartoons all day. I finished Young Sheldon recently and I started watching This Is Us. I watched half an episode two days ago and I watched another half an episode today in between screaming at my son to “leave me alone because you already had more than an hour of screen time and it’s my turn now”.
I’m really trying to get out of the mindset of complaining. I was working on my friend’s birthday gift today and the more I worked on it, the more I thought “Oh she’s going to hate it. It’s hideous. It’s not expensive enough”.
I don’t know. I don’t have any self-confidence when it comes to people. I don’t feel like I’m a very good friend, a good mother for that matter or a good wife. My self-confidence is below zero at the moment (it fluctuates) and I know what to do about it theoretically but self-improvement is a lot of work and it’s really exhausting!
I wanted to write a blog post about efficiency vs effectiveness today because I finished reading about the third habit from The 7 habits of highly effective people and since I’m really enjoying this book, I thought I’d share the gems I’m learning. Also, it helps me to reinforce the information by writing about it.
The thing is, if I’m going to write that post today, I’m going to have to stay up late or I’m going to have to wake up after dawn again tomorrow to write it and I don’t know if I can manage waking up after dawn every single day when I can’t nap during the day and I don’t see my husband until night-time when I’m most exhausted and he’s exhausted.
In conclusion, that’s life. You make goals and plans, then life gets in the way but you have to keep pushing and you have to keep trying, but also learn to let go and enjoy the things you have and the people who love you. I’m trying to make writing a priority but I can’t because my son is my priority and he just sucks the life out of me sometimes. However, sometimes he feels like a blessing and a muse and gives me a sense of purpose and makes my heart swell. Often, I have all those emotions within the same day, several times a day. I just oscillate between them.
So if you’re a mom and if you’re struggling, I get you. If you’re not a mom and you’re struggling, I also get you. Whether you’re married or single, have kids or don’t have kids, life gets in the way of your dreams and if you want to make a dream come true, you have to chase it and work hard to achieve it, but not at the expense of your priorities (i. e. Don’t abandon your family and friends in pursuit of your dream) and if life gets in the way, it’s okay. Just make sure you do at least 1 thing everyday that gets you closer to your dream (according to the 80/20 rule).