How are you doing?
I have been feeling a bit down lately, and I realized after processing my feelings and thoughts that the reason was, at its core, that I feel my inner peace is disrupted by everything going on around me. There is a saying that goes something like this: “A ship doesn’t sink by all the water around it, but only when the water gets inside of it” which basically means that when you let things get to you, you start sinking.
So here are 5 things you can do to maintain or regain your inner peace and prevent or stop your boat from sinking:
1. Instead of taking everything personally, remember that people’s behavior is all about them.
The way people behave is based on their upbringing, their set of standards, their values, their background education, their past experiences. Just like the way you behave is based on your standards, values and experiences. We often set expectations for people to behave in a certain way, and we are often hurt when they disappoint us, but we need to remember that when someone says something hurtful to you, the reason probably has nothing to do with you. For example, if someone snaps at you, it’s probably because they’re having a bad day or they had a certain expectation of you and you failed to meet their expectation, most of the time not knowing what the expectation was or not being wired in the certain way they expect you to be wired. We can’t live our lives trying to please others. Instead, make an effort to understand the other person and to have an open dialogue if possible to understand their motives. Try to meet them on common ground. You can’t change who you are for anyone, nor can you expect anyone to change for you. Compromise and open communication is key.
2. Instead of overanalyzing everything, try to just let some things be.
Yes some problems must be analyzed and solved to avoid them from escalating, but most of the time, when an event happens, and it causes discomfort to one or more people, it is usually forgotten soon and replaced by a newer problem. Don’t linger on misunderstandings and moments of anger and mistakes. Learn from your mistake so you can do better next time, and move on. It’s easier said than done, but practice makes perfect!
3. Instead of always apologizing for being yourself, why don’t you be grateful instead?
Learn to love yourself and accept yourself. This is a lifelong practice, and it is harder for some than others, but it can be done. I once read that instead of sorry, say thank you. For example, you sent your friend a bunch of voice messages because you needed to vent/process/seek validation or advice, and now you feel like a burden for sending so many voice messages that you find yourself apologizing for sending so many messages and for taking up a lot of their time. Instead of saying “sorry for sending so many messages” try saying “thank you in advance for listening yo my messages. I know you’re busy and I appreciate you taking from your time to listen and give me feedback”.
4. Instead of comparing yourself to others, embrace your uniqueness.
Remember that nobody is perfect, and what you see on the surface could be hiding a lot of problems and unhappiness. We all cope differently. Some people like to share. Others like to show only the good side of their life. Remember that nobody has it all, so be grateful for what you have and only compare yourself to how you used to be and always work on ways to improve yourself for yourself. Don’t work on yourself for your loved ones and then sit around waiting for them to notice your growth and appreciate the effort you’re putting. You’re growing for you, because a growth mindset brings more peace and happiness than a fixed mindset, and because a peaceful life is a healthy life.
5. Instead of reacting to everything that happens, usually with anger, practice the art of silence.
Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. Sometimes you need to sleep on it. There is a saying that goes something like this “Never make a decision when you’re too angry or happy” because when you’re overwhelmed with emotions, it clouds your judgement, and a reaction is an action, which is a decision basically.
I hope these tips helped you. They are advice for me as much as they are for you. Which tip resonated with you the most? Comment below.