5 ways to bring more peace into your life

Hello reader,

How are you doing?

I have been feeling a bit down lately, and I realized after processing my feelings and thoughts that the reason was, at its core, that I feel my inner peace is disrupted by everything going on around me. There is a saying that goes something like this: “A ship doesn’t sink by all the water around it, but only when the water gets inside of it” which basically means that when you let things get to you, you start sinking.

So here are 5 things you can do to maintain or regain your inner peace and prevent or stop your boat from sinking:

1. Instead of taking everything personally, remember that people’s behavior is all about them.

The way people behave is based on their upbringing, their set of standards, their values, their background education, their past experiences. Just like the way you behave is based on your standards, values and experiences. We often set expectations for people to behave in a certain way, and we are often hurt when they disappoint us, but we need to remember that when someone says something hurtful to you, the reason probably has nothing to do with you. For example, if someone snaps at you, it’s probably because they’re having a bad day or they had a certain expectation of you and you failed to meet their expectation, most of the time not knowing what the expectation was or not being wired in the certain way they expect you to be wired. We can’t live our lives trying to please others. Instead, make an effort to understand the other person and to have an open dialogue if possible to understand their motives. Try to meet them on common ground. You can’t change who you are for anyone, nor can you expect anyone to change for you. Compromise and open communication is key.

2. Instead of overanalyzing everything, try to just let some things be.

Yes some problems must be analyzed and solved to avoid them from escalating, but most of the time, when an event happens, and it causes discomfort to one or more people, it is usually forgotten soon and replaced by a newer problem. Don’t linger on misunderstandings and moments of anger and mistakes. Learn from your mistake so you can do better next time, and move on. It’s easier said than done, but practice makes perfect!

3. Instead of always apologizing for being yourself, why don’t you be grateful instead?

Learn to love yourself and accept yourself. This is a lifelong practice, and it is harder for some than others, but it can be done. I once read that instead of sorry, say thank you. For example, you sent your friend a bunch of voice messages because you needed to vent/process/seek validation or advice, and now you feel like a burden for sending so many voice messages that you find yourself apologizing for sending so many messages and for taking up a lot of their time. Instead of saying “sorry for sending so many messages” try saying “thank you in advance for listening yo my messages. I know you’re busy and I appreciate you taking from your time to listen and give me feedback”.

4. Instead of comparing yourself to others, embrace your uniqueness.

Remember that nobody is perfect, and what you see on the surface could be hiding a lot of problems and unhappiness. We all cope differently. Some people like to share. Others like to show only the good side of their life. Remember that nobody has it all, so be grateful for what you have and only compare yourself to how you used to be and always work on ways to improve yourself for yourself. Don’t work on yourself for your loved ones and then sit around waiting for them to notice your growth and appreciate the effort you’re putting. You’re growing for you, because a growth mindset brings more peace and happiness than a fixed mindset, and because a peaceful life is a healthy life.

5. Instead of reacting to everything that happens, usually with anger, practice the art of silence.

Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. Sometimes you need to sleep on it. There is a saying that goes something like this “Never make a decision when you’re too angry or happy” because when you’re overwhelmed with emotions, it clouds your judgement, and a reaction is an action, which is a decision basically.

I hope these tips helped you. They are advice for me as much as they are for you. Which tip resonated with you the most? Comment below.

Movies that scarred me for life

Hello Reader,

How are you holding up in this “situation”?
Are you binge watching any tv shows? Or watching any movies? Any suggestions?

I was binge watching tv shows before the quarantine began, but i haven’t watched anything since March 1st this year. The reason is simply because I can’t watch in front of my 5 year old (I’m very careful about what he is exposed to, I’ll explain in a minute) and also now in Ramadan I prefer to fill my time with more spiritual things.
After Eid, however, I plan on binge watching some shows and I have a long list (comment below if you want me to share the list of shows I want to watch).

That being said, I’ve been thinking about the movies I have watched in the past that have traumatized me, because my son has developed a fear of ghosts and zombies and has been cosleeping with us because of it, although I only choose child friendly shows for him. He currently watches Lion Gaurd and Paw Patrol. He also watches toy reviews on YouTube. So nothing scary. Still he is terrified to sleep at night.

As for me, I like to watch drama series like House M.D, The mentalist, Revenge, and other series I watched but forgot their names. I also like comedy series like F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (the 1st series I ever binge watched).

However, for years, my family had this tradition (they still do but I’m just not included anymore) that every Saturday, we would watch a movie. When my oldest brother was still living with us, he always picked action or horror movies. So I didn’t get to choose. After I got married, we went towards kids friendly movies like The lego movie and family movies because kids were present. When my son turned 2 years old, 3 years ago, I stopped watching with them because it would take 4 hours to watch half of a movie because “kids”.

After this long introduction and backstory, here is the list of movies that still haunt me:

1. Mirrors

Basically, this is a movie about people trapped in mirrors and they’re demonic and hurt the people outside the mirror. At the end, the main character gets trapped in a mirror. Till now, if I stare into a mirror for too long, I start feeling queezy.

2. The ring

You know the girl with the hair in her face and her arms reached out saying “7 days”? I still see her sometimes randomly. Thanks mom for making me watch this when I was 14.

3. Chucky

The plastic ragdoll that is posessed by a demon and says “Hi I’m chucky. Wanna play?” Yeah, I got rid of all my stuffed animals after this movie (I watched part 1) and I’m still scared of plastic ragdolls specifically.

4. IT

I didn’t actually watch this mpvie. I watched the trailer and got nightmares for a week. That was 2 years ago. I still feel terrified everytime I pass by a sewage opening. I eye the sewage opening suspiciously waiting for IT to somehow appear or someone to grab my leg and pull me in.

5. Paranormal activity

I have anxiety induced insomnia, and this movie may be one of the reasons why. Again, I watched part 1 only. I think one of my friends made me watch this one.

So basically, every horror movie I was ever forced to watch, even if I just watched the trailer, traumatized me.
In conclusion, those who actually like horror movies, why?!

If He got me through things before, he will be there for me this time too!

I’ve been really busy the past couple of days, which is a good thing. Only, when I’m busy, I don’t have time to read or write. There’s a blog post I read 2 days ago (I read a lot of blogs at a time when I do read from WordPress and there are some pretty amazing bloggers put there) caught my attention and I was inspired to do a similar list to what she made. This blog post (click here to read it) was about feeling worried about the future but remembering that as God got her through so much, it meant he would do it again, and that gave her hope. It gave me hope too.

In these difficult times, it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, or that the tunnel is too long and endless. So, in order to instill hope for the future and reaffirm my faith in God, I wrote a list of difficult things God has helped me through in the past:

1. University. I got a bachelor’s degree in Pharmacy, and I hated my major. I thought of giving up so many times. I was living far from home, and all my friends got better grades than me. During 4th year, I failed a subject and they were going to make me repeat it the next year. By some miracle, the next year, they made a rule that D is now a passing grade (D used to be a failing grade) and so even though I had to take extra credit in 5th year, I wasn’t held back a year and I was able to graduate with my friends.

2. Pregnancy. I had a blood clot in my uterus while I was pregnant with my son, and it went undetected for some reason, until I was 8 months pregnant and my baby wasn’t growing anymore. I’ll spare you all the dramatic detail, but 2 weeks later, I had an early emergency C section and we found out, after I delivered, that it was a blood clot that normally would have caused an abortion, but because I was swimming and eating healthy during my 1st 6 months of pregnancy, my son made it. I consider that a miracle.

3. Master’s year. This was the most grueling year of studying for me. I thought pharmacy was hard! Try doing a master’s program in a language you don’t know (french) while you’re newly married, pregnant, and going through pregnancy problems but have to go to university from 8am to 5pm everyday! Not to mention I delivered in the middle of my exams and they failed me in all of the ones I missed and when I repeated the 5 exams, they gave me half my grade because they considered I failed the 1st time around. Also, I did the research and thesis part with a newborn at hand and presented my thesis will my full on developed social anxiety and got a grade less than I deserved because I got nervous! Phew, I’m glad that’s over.

4. PPD. I wrote an entire book of poems about it. The year following the birth of my son was very dark. I isolated myself from the world for a number of reasons, and I became very depressed and agressive. It was a very difficult time for me and I wasn’t able to enjoy motherhood until after my son turned 1 years old and I moved houses.

5. A few accidents that happened in my childhood that could have been much worse, like that time I hit a rock sledging down in the snow. Everyone thought i was going to die but I barely got a small cut on my finger.

This is all I have for now, on the account that I finally convinced my son to do some worksheets and if I sit here writing, he will get bored and ask for screentime, at 10am.

I hope this inspired you to write your own list of difficult things God helped you through, or whatever higher power you believe in.

Have a nice day!