I’m feeling nostalgic today

Hello 👋 reader and welcome to my blog!

It’s 2021 and it feels like 2020, but worse. We have gotten used to the idea of staying at home but we are kind of sick and tired of it. So I’ve been living on memories to combat the sadness.

I’ve been feeling nostalgic all morning, going through old pictures on my hard disk

It’s February and in Lebanon, it snows in the mountains during January and February. Perfect time to go skiing or in my case, sledging (I’m too scared to try skiing). Last time I went sledging was in February 2019, 2 years ago exactly. I went with my family while my son was at school. It was awesome! I don’t post pictures of myself or my family, so I will share some of the pictures from the snowy cedar mountain.

Do you like snow?

I’m dying to go but because of COVID-19 and because everything is probably 10× the price it was 2 years ago, we can’t go this year. I couldn’t go last year because school kept going out and I didn’t want to take my son sledging (flashback to childhood incident of me sledging for the 1st time at age 10). I would definitely take him this year but I don’t think my husband would agree to it. Besides, prices and COVID-19, so maybe next year?

Another place I got nostalgic about today was this restaurant in the mountains that I went to in 2018 I think with almost my whole family (I have 7 siblings and 5 were present) and my mom and dad and my son and my sisters 2 kids. It was so much fun. The restaurant was called نور الصباح (morning light). They had good food and a beautiful view. There were even swings and a seesaw and stuff for the kids to play.

I wish I could show you how cute my son looked in that trip but I guess I could settle for the nature pictures.

And pictures of the inside of the restaurant

Do you like dining in restaurants? Do you like going to the mountains?

If only I could go here again…

The last place I got nostalgic about today was the port. This posrt is literally 5 minutes by car from my house and in 2020 I went about 3 times. Once at 8am before anyone was there, but I got a nail up my foot because of the trash all over the shoreline, and the other 2 times, I went at night and it was crowded and dark and nobody was wearing a mask and I bolted after 5 minutes. It’s currently closed off due to the lockdown but I really miss going there, especially with my dad. Today I went back to the 1st time I took my son to see the seaside with my dad. He was mesmerized! He was 2 years old then and it was a lovely experience. Especially seeing my dad play with my son and all I did was take pictures and take it all in. Here are some of the pictures I took from that particular trip.

The next time I came here, there was a deer

Do you love the seaside?

It’s nice to see the beautiful parts of Lebanon, the parts they don’t show in the news.

Isn’t Lebanon lovely? I hope this crisis is averted soon and Lebanon stands back up on its feet. It truly is a spectacular country.

What are some places you miss going where you live?

Storytime: Day 3 of total lockdown

It’s day 3 of the total lockdown and I’m telling you it’s hard. Not because I’m not getting much of my goals done. Not because I can’t leave the house. Not because I’m moody and keep trying to tell myself “I am calm and in control of my emotions”. But because I have to walk on eggshells and one wrong move and all hell breaks loose.

That’s the thing with anxiety. I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside, I’m analyzing every movement, every word, and for some reason everything feels like an attack against me.

In my heart I know I’m just overwhelmed because of everything going on in the world and so is everyone else, but it’s like each person is expecting the other person to “tread lightly” and absorb all the negative emotions without being affected by them, but here’s the thing. I can absorb only a certain amount before I get soaked and then I need to squeeze myself and let it all out.

Anyway, I’m watching This is us, my current escapism. I’m forgetting about my goals for the day and focusing on coping techniques and just trying to keep absorbing as much as I can without getting soaked. I’m so glad I only have 1 child because I swear sometimes it feels like I have 2 and sometimes I feel like I’m the child again and life is too much responsibility and who thought it was a good idea to leave me responsible for a husband and a son?!

I will not blame my anger on anyone but will turn my anger into compassion and cut myself and others some slack

On the bright side, my mom called and we had a nice chat. I’ve also been talking to my sister daily on the phone and my brother called last night so it’s good to be in touch with family so I don’t feel like I’m in a bubble…

Are you in lockdown?

If yes, how are you doing?

Any tips for me so I stay zen?