Hello and welcome to my blog! It’s been a long day today. I’ve been up since 4 am. I did housework and worked on my laptop. Being at home all day is exhausting in itself, especially since my son wouldn’t let me nap. Even though my brain is fried, I didn’t want to let you down on poetry Friday, so I closed my eyes and summoned my muse. It doesn’t always work, but this time it did.
This week’s poem: I’m here
I know when you act up
You just need love and care
I know when you clam up
You’re just feeling scared
If I’m being honest
I’m just winging it
Sometimes all this
Is too much to give
Sometimes I need a break
It has nothing to do with you
My sanity is at stake
And I know it affects you too
I may not have all the answers
And I may not always do as I say
Responsibility has me battered
But I’m here and I’m here to stay
I will lift you up when you’re feeling low
I’ll be with you when you’re all alone
Holding your hand
Helping you stand
Life will throw you curveballs along the way
I hope you learn the lessons it means to teach
I’ll stand with you in the sunshine and the rain
You can lean on me when you feel weak
Because I can’t explain
My love for you
It goes beyond logic
But I’m here to stay
I’ll be here with you
Witness all your magic
Because when you grow up, you’ll do amazing things
You amaze me now when you’re just a kid
If it’s in the cards, you’ll have a kin
Until then, it’s you and me, kid.
I literally had to hide in the bathroom to write this. It’s really sad but my son is acting up because I didn’t really spend much one on one time with him today. Not more than 15 minutes. I’ve been on my phone or laptop or cooking and doing housework. He really needs me attention. I try to hug him and kiss him as often as I can but it doesn’t seem to satisfy him for long. He wants me to play with him but I’m bloated and nauseated because I’ve been eating a lot of junk food lately. I can’t seem to find the will power to stop eating so many sweets, thus feeling groggy and not energetic. Plus, I’ve been up since 4 am because I couldn’t sleep.
Despite my imperfect parenting, I love my son so much and although my moods and energy levels don’t show it as much as I want to, I think he knows it. He is an amazing smart cute strong willed kid and I’m lucky to have him.
Since the pandemic, it’s been hard on both of us. I crave me time and adult connection while he misses playing on the playground with other kids and going places to play with his cousins.