Storytime: I feel like Riley from Inside Out

Have you ever watched the movie Inside out? It’s a Disney Pixar movie that I recommend 💯 for all ages. I’m yet to watch Inside out 2, but part 1 is amazing.

Basically it’s about a girl who moves to a new school, new city and is dealing with overwhelming sadness I think. They show you all the emotions in her head trying to control her actions.

The inside of her brain is separated into family, friendship, imagination, etc. As she learns to grow up, she battles with her negative emotions.

So lately there has been a lot of drama in my personal life, and it’s sucking me into this vortex of negativity that I’m struggling to get out of.

If I were to make a map of the inside of my head, there would be personal development (enriching my brain and body), family, friendship, writing, spirituality, and emotional well being.

Ever since the beginning of January, I haven’t been able to really work on my goals because I’m too burnt out and having panic attacks. I’ve been meditating so that I have less panic attacks.

2020 has been very isolating for me and I’m craving attention from people who aren’t able to give me what I need. So after trying so hard to get their attention and only getting negative attention, I have decided to back off. I have my son, as exhausting as being with him all day is, he still makes me smile, even though when he is around, I can’t read or write blogs (he just fell asleep at 10pm which is why I’m able to write this post).

He drew and colored this all by himself. How awesome is that?! He is the one wearing green and orange, surfing. It’s a fun day at the beach of the whole family (I forgot to ask who is who)

I think I’m going to watch the movie Inside Out again so I can remember the takeaway messages from the movie.

Have you ever watched Inside Out? If yes, what are your thoughts about it?


I’m finally all caught up with week 1 of October posts. I just saved posts from after that. Won’t be reading them today because I am going to watch a movie now.

Nancy Drew and the hidden staircase

So what did I learn from 3 days of reading blogs?

They are all good advice, things I mostly knew, in addition to personal updates of stranger’s lives, which was really interesting to read.

I’m glad I didn’t write during these 3 days because I was a bit messed up inside, and I don’t like to preach about positivity when I myself felt like I was failing at life.

So today I literally cleaned the dirt off my windows, to get a clearer view, and figuratively, I felt a deeper insight to what was going on inside of me.

I’m always reading so much and feeding my mind with podcasts and youtube videos and blogs and books (currently reading The 7 habits of highly effective people) that I don’t give myself the time to reflect and act on them.

I have this fear of missing out, but not on parties and going out. I feel like I need to fill myself with as much information as I can, because there is so much information out there, it’s exhausting to try to keep up.

I also realized something else in these 3 days. I don’t have many friends, not in the real sense. I think everyone I communicated with, I reached out to them, even my sister.

It’s sad, but don’t feel bad for me just yet. I kind of connected with my son and husband more. Kind of. It’s a process.

I’m basically trying to be a better human, and I’m trying not to complain. I slept well last night, but I still got a migraine from being on my phone too much.

So what to expect from me in my next blogs:

I’m going to lay off giving advice until I get myself together, but I enjoyed talking about Turkey so you will see more posts about my time in Turkey in 2016. I will try to post 1 blog post per day. Let’s see what happens.

My stats suffered greatly from my lack of blogging for 3 days. They were booming and then they shrunk. I expected my friends to keep up with my blogs during these 3 days, but they didn’t so… I know they’re busy but still…

Anyway, I need to remind myself that I’m blogging for me. Here’s something interesting, not blogging made me feel so confused like I couldn’t explain how I feel. Now I feel like my thoughts are stale and stagnant.

I don’t know what I’m doing wrong but I am taking it one blog at a time.

A challenge in her eyes (a poem)

I just watched “Into the Wild” and as with everything I watch or read, it it inspired me to write this poem.

I have always wanted to travel the world, ever since I watched “Around the world in 80 days”, but I would rather do so on an airplane and by train or cruise ship (not small boats that make me nauseated). Also, I would be terrified to travel alone. I’d like to go with my family.

I thought I wanted to go into the wild, but after watching this movie, I don’t anymore.

There’s a step in her stride
There’s a challenge in her eyes
That says “get to know me, otherwise
I’ll keep you guessing”

She wants to go around the world
And get to know what’s it’s like to roam
So that the day she comes back home
It keeps her grounded

There’s a fire in her soul
She knows she’s meant for so much more
And in her heart, there is a hole
It keeps her yearning

She knows one day she’ll be wild and free
She’ll break the chains that keep her here
The limitations in the mirror
Until then she’s learning

She likes to dive into the deep
And get to know what makes her weep
So she grows stronger every week
Until she faces every fear

So when you see that challenge in her eyes
Know that she won’t compromise
She has a passion in disguise
You’ll know it when you read it

Favorite inspirational and motivational movies

I am inspired by books, nature, movies, and so much more.

Today I’m writing the top 10 most inspiring movies.

I have watched all these movies except one and they have each taught me valuable life lessons. Into the wild is the only one I haven’t watched but I’ve heard so many good things about the book and I’m looking forward to watching the movie. Here are the titles and quotes from the movies.

1. The pursuit of happyness starring Will Smith

You got a dream. You gotta protect it. People can’t do somethin’ themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want somethin’, go get it.

2. The blind side starring Sandra Bullock

Courage is a hard thing to figure. You can have courage based on a dumb idea or mistake, but you’re not supposed to question adults, or your coach or your teacher, because they make the rules. Maybe they know best, but maybe they don’t. It all depends on who you are, where you come from.

3. Stronger starring Jake Gyllenhaal

Admitting your limitations and accepting help makes you stronger too.

4. Eddie the Eagle starring Hugh Jackman

I may be in last place, it may have been a poor jump, but everyone seems to be pleased. Why? Because of the Olympic ideal – ‘The most important thing is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle

5. Into the Wild

6. Moneyball starring Brad Pitt

If you challenge conventional wisdom, you will find ways to do things much better than they are currently done.

7. Coach Carter starring Samuel L. Jackson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

8. The Butterfly Effect starring Ashton Kutcher

It has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly’s wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world.

9. The Judge starring Robert Downey Jr.

The law is the only thing capable of making people equal.

10. The Truman Show starring Jim Carrey

We Accept The Reality Of The World With Which We’re Presented. It’s As Simple As That.”

I hope you liked the quotes from these movies. I am yet to watch Into the Wild.

Which of these movies have you watched?

What other inspirational movies do you recommend?

The Secret Garden Movie holds a powerful message

I read the book The Secret Garden about 10 years ago. I remember loving it but I forgot what it was about. I recently watched the movie and my mind was officially blown.

I don’t want to spoil the movie for you, but all I will say is that sometimes an illness can all be in your head. There is also a message about learning from young children about life. Often, as grown ups, we think we know better, but we are crippled by our fears and limited imagination. Children are curious and imaginative and believe everything is possible.

My son asks me so many questions that I sometimes don’t know how to answer. Children force us to step out of our comfort zone, otherwise, we drag them down with us when we try to conform them to be a certain way.

Children really are inspiring. We must nurture the good qualities they have, not kill their ambitions and hopes and dreams.

Yesterday morning, my son brought me the cardboard box of a toy and said “We can make an airplane with this”. At 1st I said I didn’t know how. He said “then watch a video on youtube to teach you how”. Then I said I was too tired. He said “then we can do it later when you’re not tired”. His enthusiasm actually encouraged me. I searched for a video on how to make a cardboard airplane and I promised that soon I’ll do it.

In all honesty, I’m too lazy to do it. I never thought of myself as being able to do arts and crafts. Whenever my son asked me to do something, I said I couldn’t. One day, I caved in and drew him a dinosaor while watching a YouTube tutorial. Now I have drawn so many things for him I lost count, and it turns out I’m actually good at it. I don’t particularly enjoy it. I’d rather read or write, but it makes my son happy, so I try.

I still haven’t made him the cardboard airplane, but it’s on my list of things to do soon. This kid pushes me to be a better mom, to be more productive and creative.

It’s really important to learn from our children what we can. They have a zest for life and we either go along with it and become alive in the process, or we shut down and bring them down to the dark with us, where there is no hope or joy and there is only misery.

Is beauty a blessing or a curse?

I watched the movie Tall Girl last night, and as is my habit with everything I read or watch, it got me thinking.

This is not a movie review, by the way, just bear with me.

The movie is about a tall girl who is self conscious about her height (she really is that tall in real life) and a Swedish exchange student who is very beautiful but feels ugly because apparently everyone in Sweden is beautiful (I looked it up, it’s true). The movie ends with a speech about being true to who you are as a person and owning all the things you’re insecure about.

I totally agree.

But still it got me thinking “How beautiful am I really?”
And I actually began to pick at my insecurities (the things about my looks I don’t like) and then I stopped myself.
I reminded myself that even though people in Sweden are “aesthetically beautiful” and if I ever went to Sweden or was around a Swedish person, I would feel so insecure…that doesn’t mean that I’m any less worthy than a Swedish person. Besides, Swedish people obviously feel insecure too, compared to other Swedish people.

Beauty doesn’t determine your worth.

Besides, the standards of beauty being “fair skin, tall, light colored hair, colored eyes” are just not fair and not true. Some people with these characteristics are plain, and some dark people are gorgeous.
Some beautiful people are insecure and some not so beautiful people are arrogant, because they’re smart or rich. So beauty doesn’t guarantee self esteem.

I’m teaching my 5 year old son that being aesthetically beautiful or smart or rich doesn’t make you any better than others, nor does being the opposite make you any less.

My son is given much attention for being cute and smart, even by me, but I constantly tell him not to let it get to his head. He isn’t arrogant about it. In fact, he is insecure about not being tall and of being skinny. And he is just 5!

He is often compared to his cousins who are taller and heavier than him but close in age (unfortunately by me sometimes in an effort to get him to eat) and it really affects his self esteem.

The bottom line is, no matter what you look like, your worth is determined by your kindness and personality. It doesn’t matter if you’re beautiful but a bully.

In fact, as I was writing this blog post, my son was telling me about a girl he played with and he said he didn’t like her because he saw her being unkind to another boy their age.

So be kind. Kindness is attractive.

Of course taking care of your hygiene and dressing nicely is very important but it has nothing to do with aesthetic beauty.
In fact, in Islam, showering regularly and wearing clean clothes is a must.

Another observation I made in real life (and is shown in the movie) is that beautiful people are often admired for their beauty before you get to know them. Once you get to know them, if they have a nice personality, you’ll like them. Otherwise, they’ll become ugly in your eyes pretty quickly. In the end, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

So even if you’re beautiful, be kind.
And even if, by aesthetic standards, you don’t feel beautiful, remember that you are beautiful to the ones who love you and care about you. You are beautiful by your kindness.

Just like some rich people are generous and others are stingy, the amount of money in your bank account doesn’t determine what type of person you are. Some poor people (by society standards) and more generous than their rich counterparts.

I think the movie Tall Girl was very enlightening and you can either take it superficially as in “oh gee, beautiful people complaining about how beautiful they are” or take the deeper meaning that “even beautiful people get insecure” and “if you’re unkind, you’re ugly, no matter how beautiful you are”.

I personally don’t believe I’m a very beautiful person. I think I’m average, by aesthetic standards, and I’m trying to be a kind person. I feel I can be unkind sometimes, because my tolerance level is very low, but I’m a work in progress. One thing I know is I’ve never felt more superior to anyone because of the way my face looks, but I have often felt inferior to others because other people were smarter or more keen or more naturally social than I am.