Throwback Thursday: Anxiety and Depression Self-reflection

Hello and welcome to my blog! Welcome to Throwback Thursday where I bring back a post I wrote exactly a year ago, sometimes 2 or 3 years ago, on this date, and reflect upon it (after fixing the mistakes using the Grammarly keyboard).

Today I’m reflecting upon a post of self-reflection. How poetic is that? Did you know that when you remember an event, you don’t remember the event, but you remember the last time you remembered the event? It’s mindblowing, right?

Reflect upon a recent victory in your life:

I need this pep talk. I do. I can’t think of a recent victory. Yes, I published a few books during March, April and May, but it’s July now, almost August. Besides, barely anyone bought my books and I can’t help but feel bitter about it.

It’s just my luck. I publish a book and the world goes into chaos a week later. A pandemic breaks out, the economy falls, etc. Chaos began in October 2019, after my 28th birthday, with the political situation and riots. Oh well, we’re supposed to be talking positively here.

Another recent victory:

I watched 4 seasons of The Vampire Diaries and 2 seasons of Gilmore Girls, but that’s hardly an accomplishment. I feel very useless and addicted to dopamine shots because of this.

I read over 30 books in the past year, but I need something recent.

I haven’t had a meltdown in public in over 2 weeks. That’s pretty impressive.

I started reading Anxiety and Depression for Dummies recently and so far it’s quizzing (if you know me, you know I love quizzes). “The negative thinking quiz” and “The distraught behavior quiz,” say I’m a bit anxious, but not too anxious that I need medical attention.” The sad, stressed sensations quiz,” says my body is feeling sad, but not entirely depressed. “The conflicted connections quiz” indicates that I’m a bit isolating myself, which I am, kind of.

What was a recent victory in your life?

I’ve had some victories and losses in the past year, but on the top of my head, I’ve published 10 books so far, between poetry, self-help and autobiographies.

I’ve also read some books and many blogs.

I’m also growing my blog and I even created a podcast.

I’m working on my marriage and my parenting, so there are some small victories there, and a lot of room for improvement as well.

What are some recent victories you have had?

Reblog: Hear Your Conscience

We all know what are right and wrong actions, and hopefully we avoid indulging in the negative ones and creating negative karma for ourselves! But maybe we don’t realize the subtle karma of our thoughts. A judgemental, jealous or derisory thought about others will lead to ill feelings, which will lead to an off tone […]

Hear Your Conscience

I often get confused between reblog and repost. Which one is when I’m sharing another blogger’s work while giving them credit, and which one gives the impression that it is my work? So I just googled it to make sure and:

By reblogging, you credit the original author of the post. When you repost, you give the impression that you are the original poster, which isn’t true.

Anyway, I’m back to catching up on reading blogs as I watch the sunrise and enjoy the early morning summer breeze. Enjoy this post that I reblogged from one of my favorite bloggers.

Motivational Monday: Feeling overwhelmed or insecure?

Hello and welcome to my blog! It’s been such a day today. Monday is starting to become my most dramatic day. It’s like all the drama charged up during the week is let out on Monday. It’s exhausting and very anticlimactic after having a wonderful weekend.

Nevertheless, I’m training myself to look on the bright side of everything. Despite all the pain and drama today, I’m grateful for the 3 hours of me-time (technically I had 2 hours of alone time) and for being productive (I may have overbooked my to-do list).

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, insecure, or you’re just looking for some Monday motivation, you’ve come to the right place:

Cultivate an optimistic mind, use your imagination, always consider alternatives, and dare to believe that you can make possible what others think is impossible.

Focus on the step in front of you, and not the whole staircase.

Stop comparing yourself to other people. If you enjoy what you are doing and it fills you up, that’s all that matters.

Take the risk. Don’t let the unknown stop you from progressing.

Sometimes later becomes never. Do it now.

Don’t worry so much about tomorrow that you miss today.

Enjoy the good moments, stay positive in the bad. Know that everything will be alright.

Dream it. Wish it. Do it.

Poetry Friday: Healing is a journey

Hello and welcome to my blog! It’s been a rollercoaster lately. Some days I just want to stay in bed. Other days I feel so motivated and inspired. Some days I check everything on my to do list. Other days I do the bare minimum and binge watch TV shows instead.

When you have no responsibility onto others, your bad days only affect you. But that rarely is the case. A lot of you have kids, siblings, a spouse, or parents in the same household, and when you need your space, they rarely ever give it to you. So what do you do? Well, speaking for myself, I lash out until I get my space. Sometimes I get my space for days or weeks in a row, followed by days or weeks of no space at all.

Then there’s the guilt over lashing out and the apologies, then wondering what’s wrong with me, why can’t I control my anger, and downright hating on myself. There’s also the frustration from circumstances and not being in tune with my goals (binge eating and not exercising).

Then I remember I’m on a journey.

I hit a rough patch lately, but I’m not always like this. Even day to day, I have small wins. Like today, I yelled at my son a bit, but I also played ludo with him, helped him organize his papers, mopped the house, made the beds, did the dishes and laundry, sat on the balcony with my son while we ate ice cream and I watched the trees blow with the wind and listened to the sound of birds chirping nearby.

I also lost my cool again tonight when he refused to brush his teeth, as he does every night, but I kept in mind that I’m on a healing journey and if I want to teach him to control his emotions, I need to learn to control mine. It really helped me calm down and calm him down.

Anyway, enjoy this poem I wrote today about healing with your loved ones:

Healing is a journey

I still have long to go

Looking back to where I was

I’ve lost my sight of shore

Stuck in survival mode

I forgot what’s it’s like to thrive

Hiding in my comfort zone

I needed to feel alive

And then you came and rescued me

I didn’t know I needed saving

All the things that you taught me

How could you be so amazing?

But half the time you drive me crazy

You’re the only one who can enrage me

Sometimes I feel like this is toxic

And other times it feels exotic

We’re all broken

In different ways

We can either heal together

Or go our separate ways

Watch the glass break in slow motion

Watch the waves move in the ocean

Watch me as I lay there broken

Watch me as I build myself again

Not one of us is perfect

I can attest to that

I can play victim all day long

But I know better than that

Working on my patience

Protecting my energy

Working on a balance

Will you heal with me?

Healing is a journey

And I’ve had some setbacks

It’s my rollercoaster journey

And this is my comeback

How is your healing going?

New month, New challenge: Day 18

Hello and welcome to my blog! Welcome to the new month, new challenge series where I do a challenge each day and share it here so you can do it with me. Today’s challenge was a bit difficult. It’s easier for me to do a quantitative challenge, like “exercise for 10 minutes” rather than a qualitative one like “be mindful today” because the 1st, I can do and be done with it, whereas the 2nd can’t be measured and must be done all day.

Today’s challenge is:

No negative thoughts for the day. Remember what you did on day 3!

Do this challenge with me:

This was the challenge on day 3 in case you forgot (I forgot and had to check back).

It’s hard to eliminate negative thoughts, but I made sure I was more aware of these negative thoughts and didn’t act on them. It’s tricky to determine whether or not I did this challenge but I tried, so A for effort?

Ramadan Series: When one door closes, another opens.

Hello and welcome to my blog! Welcome to the Ramadan series where I discuss universal concepts like kindness and inner peace from my experience and share my insight with you. Today is not the last day of Ramadan but it is the last day of the series. I tried to put the videos I was watching into use by discussing them but then I would watch several videos and I was too busy to ruminate over them.

Anyway, I really benefitted from watching these videos, especially with my anxiety and depression. They weren’t just spiritual boosts but also mental health boosts. For example, this vudeo about not getting discouraged and giving up when things don’t work out for you. How many times have we given up when we were so close to winning?

Remember that life is full of opportunities and as much as it’s important to take advantage of opportunities but it’s also important not to give up with said opportunities don’t work out.

There will always be other opportunities. It’s okay to be sad but don’t be discouraged.

New month, New challenge: Day 8

Hello and welcome to my blog! Welcome to the New month, New challenge series where I do a challenge each day and share it here so you can do it with me.

Today’s challenge is:

Whenever you have a minute, take 3 full deep breaths.

Do this challenge with me:

I did this challenge in the morning as soon as I saw it, and it helped with my mood. I was being bombarded with negative thoughts and I was thinking from a state of lack. Taking deep breaths helped remind myself to slow down and think about what I do have.

New month, New challenge: Day 4

Hello and welcome to my blog! Welcome to the new month, new challenge series where I share the challenge of the day on the same day that I do it so that you can do it with me if you want!

I’m having trouble sleeping lately. Struggling with my inner demons and whatnot. I want to be a better person. I want to be tolerant and forgiving and understanding and patient and calm and collected, but I can’t do that when I feel like I can’t be myself. My sensitivity and my talkativeness and need for affection are frowned upon, and it feels pretty lonely in my heart. I just wish I could hang out with someone who understood me, who accepted me just the way I was. Suppressing my emotions is affecting my sleep and diet and I keep going through rabbit holes of escapism. Now that I let that out…

Today’s challenge is:

Try something new. Like a new recipe, a new tv show, new restaurant… you decide.

This is in alignment with yesterday’s kindness challenge. I was supposed to bake something for someone but I didn’t feel like it. Plus, I didn’t leave the house yesterday. I bought a chocolate chip cookie mix from the store today. I usually bake things from scratch, but I’m fasting and I’m tired, hence the box mix.

Versus Reality. What do you think? I still haven’t tasted them since I’m fasting but I can’t wait!

I also made atayef for the 1st time ever (it’s an arabic dessert) because every Tuesday my son has cooking class on school and obviously I’m the one that has to do the cooking. It’s actually a simple recipe.

You put 1 cup flour, 1 cup water, and some baking powder.
You can put syrup, honey or chocolate spread on it.

Do this challenge with me:

What new thing will you try today? Let me know in the comments below. Don’t forget to like and share with your friends and family so they can do the challenge too.

Daily Reminder

Hello and welcome to my blog! I’ve contemplated whether or not to start this series. I seem to be experimenting with different series in posting. Since Ramadan began, I started the Ramadan series and I was supposed to post daily. However, that’s not working out for me.

I’m not having the energy to do so and having just the Ramadan theme is making my creativity rigid. So I posted a few random posts as well this month on the days when I couldn’t post a Ramadan series post. I also posted everytime I finished a challenge. Then I started the new year new you series and I wasn’t sure if there was room for this series as well.

I get daily reminders on the 21 day challenges app. Mostly I screenshot them. Sometimes I share the screenshots in my instagram stories. There are a few however that I wanted to share here. I didn’t want to bombard you with several reminders in one post. I felt that would be cliché. So I finally decided to share a reminder everyday.

I also decided, so that the posts weren’t too boring, I’d make a canva design with the reminder on it as well. I felt the reminders were self explanatory, which is why I struggled to post about them before. They’ve been in my drafts for a while, accumulating.

Anyway, I hope these reminders serve as positive affirmations and that they uplift you.

Today’s reminder is:

Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel. People react differently and whatever you are feeling is more than okay.

Reminder from:

Let me know what you think about this new series and about the other series I’m posting (Ramadan Series and new month, new challenge series). Your feedback is always appreciated.